Hey there animal lover!
Are you ready to tickle your funny bone with some seriously lame jokes?
Well, prepare to laugh until you snort with our collection of 50+ jokes about animals that are so bad, they’re actually kind of funny.
From pun-tastic quips about cats and dogs, to groan-inducing bear-y awful one-liners, these jokes are sure to have you rolling your eyes and giggling at the same time.
So let’s dive into this menagerie of cheesy animal jokes and get ready to unleash the laughs!
Table of Contents
Lame Jokes About Animals
Why did the frog call his insurance company? He had a leap of faith!
Why do rabbits make bad comedians? They can never get their jokes to hop!
Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide!
What do you call a deer with no eyes? No ideer!
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
Why don’t sheep go to the gym? They don’t want to mutton their own business!
How does a lion say hello to a zebra? Brace yourself for a big cat-tack!
What do you call a cow that has just given birth? Decalfinated!
What do you get when you cross a snake with a pie? A python pie!
What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick!
What kind of dog can jump higher than a building? Any dog, buildings can’t jump!
Which animal is the most talented at playing poker? The bluffalo!
Why don’t fishes ever get sick? Because they swallow a lot of water!
How do you motivate a sheep? With a ewe-nique approach!
Why do pandas never get invited to parties? They always bamboo-zle everyone with their terrible dance moves!
What do you call a gorilla with a banana in each ear? Whatever you want, he can’t hear you!
Why do elephants never use computers? They’re afraid of the mouse!
What do you call a snobbish criminal going down stairs? A condescending con descending!
Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
Why did the mosquito go to school? To learn how to multiply!
Why don’t elephants use computers? They’re afraid of mice.
Why did the cow go to outer space? To see the moooon!
What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie? Sofishticated.
Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be called bagels.
Why did the sloth cross the road? He forgot.
How do you organize a party in space? You planet.
Why did the chicken join the band? He wanted to play the egg-shaker.
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
What do you get if you cross a sheep and a kangaroo? A woolly jumper.
What did the frog say when he found out he won the lottery? Time to hop into some cash!
Why don’t snails play football? They’re too slow.
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? Thesaurus.
Why did the hippo go to the doctor? He had a case of the blues.
What do you call a fish that wears a bowtie? A suave swimmer.
What do you get when you cross a sheep and a poodle? A woolly doodle.
Why did the cow climb a tree? To get to the mooooon.
Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because he was well armed.
What do you call a monkey in a suit? A business baboon.
Why don’t anteaters get sick? Because they’re full of anty-bodies.
What do you get when you cross a snake and an airplane? A hiss-terical flight.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side because he forgot his laptop charger.
Why did the frog call his insurance company? He just jumped into an accident.
What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick.
What do you get when you cross a sheep and a kangaroo? A woolly jumper.
What do you call a bear that wears sandals? A barefoot bear.
Why don’t elephants wear watches? They don’t have enough fingers to wind them up.
What do you call a horse that’s a bad dancer? A stable-mate.
What do you call a snake that tells jokes? A hissterical comedian.
What do you call a cat that went to Mars? An astro-cat.
Why do ducks wear pants? To quack up their legs.
What do you call a cow that’s just given birth? De-calf-inated.
How do you catch a squirrel? Climb up a tree and act like a nut.
Why do koalas make bad pets? They’re always picking up eucalyptus leaves.
What do you call a fox with a cold? A sneezing beauty.
Why do seagulls live by the sea? Because they can’t afford beachfront property.
What do you call a crab that’s a neat freak? OCD shellfish.
Why did the wolf go to the doctor? He was howling with pain.
What do you call a shark in a suit? A businessman-eater. Why don’t ants get sick?
They have little ant-bodies. What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie? Sofishticated.
Up to You!
Well, there you have it!
You’ve made it through all 50+ of our lame jokes about animals.
You must be feeling pretty paw-some right about now.
We hope these jokes have given you a chuckle, a smile, or maybe even an eye roll – either way, we’re fur-ever grateful for your attention.
So go ahead and share your favorite animal joke with your friends and family, and let the laughter roar like a lion!
And don’t worry, we won’t badger you with any more of these jokes (at least not right meow).
Want to LOL More?
Here are other Animals Jokes you’ll enjoy:
- 50+ Jokes About Penguins
- 50+ Jokes About Extinct Animals
- 50+ Jokes About Marine Animals
- 50+ Jokes About Cows
- 50+ Jokes About Turtles
- 50+ Jokes About Ocean Animals
- 50+ Funny Jokes About Animals
- 50+ Jokes About Pigs
- 50+ Lame Jokes About Animals
- 50+ Good Jokes About Animals
Hey there, I’m Simon, and I started Jokeslide.com to spread joy and laughter. As a 34-year-old who loves humor, I created this website to share funny jokes and mind-bending riddles in a family-friendly environment. Join me in this laughter-filled journey, connect with others, and experience the magic of humor together! 😄🤝