Hey there, survivor!
Ready to fight off the living dead with some laughter?
Look no further than these 50+ hilarious jokes about zombies that will have you cracking up even during the apocalypse.
Whether you’re a fan of corny puns or dark humor, there’s something for everyone on this list.
So grab your weapons and get ready to banish those zombies…
with some side-splitting humor, of course!
Jokes About Zombies
Why did the zombie break up with his girlfriend? She just wasn’t his “type” anymore.
What do you call a zombie who takes up gardening? A “deadheading” enthusiast.
Why don’t zombies eat clowns? They taste funny.
Did you hear about the zombie who won the race? He crossed the finish line several hours after everyone else did, but he still finished.
How did the zombie get into the nightclub? He had a bodyguard to help him get past the bouncers.
What do you get when you cross a zombie and a chicken? A “petrified” fowl.
What do you call a zombie who loves pizza? A “dead”-livery guy.
Why don’t zombies use computers? They can’t figure out how to “reboot” themselves.
What do you call a zombie who’s always about to sneeze? A “tissue”-ducker.
How do zombies get around during the winter months? They just “shamble” along.
Why don’t zombies enjoy romantic comedies? They’re just too “dead-pan.”
What do you call a zombie who’s really fit? A “cardio”-vascular expert.
Did you hear about the zombie who was sick of his job? He wanted to “re-dead”-icate his life to something more fulfilling.
Why did the zombie get stuck in traffic? He was stuck behind a “dead”-end.
How do zombies clean their teeth? They use “toothslay”.
What do you call a zombie who always forgets things? A “re-minder”.
Why aren’t zombies good comedians? They just don’t have the “brains” for it.
What do you call a group of zombies playing musical instruments together? A “dead band”.
What do you call it when a zombie loses his temper? He gets “dissed-eased”.
How do you know when a zombie is hungry? He always wants to go out for “burgers and brains”.
Why did the zombie go to the dentist? To get his teeth straightened!
What do you call a zombie who works at a cemetery? A gravemaster!
How does a zombie greet his friends? With a deadication!
Why did the zombie join a gym? To work on his dead lifts!
How do you stop a zombie from smelling? You hold his nose!
What do you call a group of zombies playing instruments? A dead band!
Why did the zombie take the day off work? Because he was feeling a bit run down!
What do you call a zombie who only eats cereals? A cerebellum!
What did the vegetarian zombie eat? Graaaaaaiiinnns!
How do you stop a zombie from attacking you? You use a crosswalk!
Why did the zombie go to the beach? To ride the dead tide!
What do you call a zombie who is mathematically inclined? A zombequation!
What did the zombie say to the pizza guy? Keep the change, I only want your brains!
Why don’t zombies go to the airport? They don’t like checking in their limbs!
What do you call a zombie who is always on the phone? A cellubrain!
How does a zombie begin a letter? Dead Sir/Madam!
Why do zombies love to read? Because they are always interested in the afterlife!
What do you call a zombie who is an expert in martial arts? A kung-fu ghoul!
What did the zombie say when he was asked to make a speech? I have a deathly silence to preserve.
Why don’t zombies get married? Because they always break apart at the seams!
Why did the zombie go on a diet? They wanted to take a bite out of their cholesterol levels.
Why don’t zombies wear shoes? They prefer to dine barefoot.
Why did the zombie cross the road? To get to the brains on the other side.
How did the zombie say hello? With a deadpan stare and a moaning voice.
Did you hear about the zombie who joined a circus? They were great as the undead tightrope walker.
Why do zombies make bad basketball players? They always travel when they take a step.
Why did the zombie become an accountant? They wanted to help others take a bite out of their taxes.
What do you call a group of zombies who are experts in fashion? The undead runway models.
Why don’t zombies make good astronauts? They can’t stand the thought of breathing recycled air.
How do zombies like their coffee? Decaffeinated and on the cold side.
Did you hear about the zombie who tried to go vegan? They couldn’t resist the temptation of brains.
Why do zombies make terrible salespeople? They always scare away potential customers.
How can you tell if a zombie is a vegetarian? They only eat people who were organically raised.
What do you get when you cross a zombie and a comedian? A deadpan comic who will always slay the crowd.
Why did the zombie like to ride a bike? They had a lot of negative energy to burn off.
What’s a zombie’s favorite dessert? Brain pudding with a side of eyeball jelly.
Why don’t zombies go to the movies? They can’t sit still for more than a minute.
What do you call a zombie who is always complaining? A grumbling ghoul.
Why did the zombie take up yoga? They wanted to learn how to properly contort and snap their victims’ necks.
What do you get when you mix a zombie and a pirate? The undead captain who loves to pillage and brain-nap.
Up to You!
Well, there you have it, dear reader!
50+ jokes about zombies that will make you laugh ’til you’re undead!
From puns to one-liners, we’ve covered all the brain-busting laughs you’ll need to survive the apocalypse.
So, whether you’re a fan of zombie movies or just looking to lighten the mood during a spooky season, these jokes are sure to have you in stitches.
Just be sure to duck and dodge when the zombies come knocking – after all, they’ll be looking for brains, and you don’t want to end up as the punchline to their next joke!
Stay alive, stay laughing, and remember – always aim for the head!
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Hey there, I’m Simon, and I started Jokeslide.com to spread joy and laughter. As a 34-year-old who loves humor, I created this website to share funny jokes and mind-bending riddles in a family-friendly environment. Join me in this laughter-filled journey, connect with others, and experience the magic of humor together! 😄🤝