Hey there, football fan!
Looking for a good laugh?
You’re in luck because we’ve got not one, not ten, but a whopping sixty jokes about the one and only Zlatan Ibrahimović!
From his legendary ego to his insane skills on the field, there’s no shortage of material when it comes to the Swedish superstar.
So sit back, relax, and get ready to LOL your way through this post.
Trust us, it’s gonna be a good one.
Jokes About Zlatan
Why did Zlatan refuse to play in Italy? Because he didn’t want to be known as Zlatano Juventus.
Zlatan doesn’t do push-ups, he pushes the world down.
Why is Zlatan such a good soccer player? Because he’s always in the Zlatan Zone.
Zlatan’s favorite cereal is Special Zlatan-O’s.
Zlatan doesn’t score goals, goals score for him.
When Zlatan dives, the water gets out of the way.
Zlatan doesn’t celebrate goals, goals celebrate Zlatan.
Zlatan can swim through land.
Zlatan doesn’t need a GPS, he already knows where he’s going.
Zlatan doesn’t do interviews, he does monologues.
Why did Zlatan refuse to take a penalty? Because he’s already scored from the spot on the other end of the pitch.
When Zlatan was born, the doctor brought the stork to him.
Zlatan is so fast, he once ran a marathon in 2 hours.
Zlatan is the only person to ever have a heart attack and continue playing.
Zlatan’s signature move is called The Zlatanator.
Zlatan is so powerful, he once kicked a ball into outer space.
Zlatan’s sweat cures baldness.
Zlatan speaks all languages, including dog and cat.
Zlatan doesn’t get cold, he turns up the heat.
Zlatan doesn’t get injured, he injures injuries.
Why did Zlatan Ibrahimovic become a soccer player? So he could finally get a shot at goal.
What do you call it when Zlatan stops running? A celebration.
Zlatan Ibrahimovic doesn’t do quick feet, he does quick brain cells.
What do you call Zlatan’s autobiography? I Am Zlatan.
How does Zlatan celebrate a goal? By reminding everyone that he scored it.
Why did Zlatan close his eyes during a penalty? To make it more challenging for the goalkeeper.
What did Zlatan say when he was asked how many championships he’s won? I lost count after the first 10.
Why did Zlatan get a tattoo of himself on his back? So he could watch his own back.
How does Zlatan keep his hair looking so perfect? He uses his opponents’ tears as hair gel.
What did Zlatan say when he scored a goal from halfway line? That was an easy tap-in.
Why did Zlatan change his name to Zlatan? So everyone would know who’s boss.
What’s the difference between Zlatan and a lion? One has a mane, the other is insane.
What did Zlatan say when his coach asked him to score more goals? I’ll score as many as God allows.
Why did Zlatan buy an island? So he could score his own goals and celebrate alone.
What did Zlatan say after he kicked the ball over the bar? The goal was too small.
Why did Zlatan refuse to play for Barcelona? He doesn’t like passing the ball.
What did Zlatan say when he was asked how to stop Lionel Messi? I don’t know, I’ve never tried.
Why did Zlatan become a striker? Because he can’t pass.
What did Zlatan say when he was asked why he always wears a headband? It’s to keep the other team focused on my face.
Why does Zlatan only use his left foot? He doesn’t need his right foot, he has his ego to play with.
Why did Zlatan cross the road? To get to the other strike.
Zlatan’s favorite holiday is Boxing Day.
What does Zlatan order at a sushi restaurant? Zlatan Rolls.
What is Zlatan’s favorite bird? The eagle, of course.
Zlatan once won a staring contest against the sun.
What did Zlatan say when he found out he was going to be a father? Ibrahimovic Jr. is already born ready.
Zlatan always finishes his sentences with a period Kick.
What do you call Zlatan when he’s playing golf? A hole in one.
Why did Zlatan become a football player? To kick-start his career.
When Zlatan gets injured, the pain calls for a stretcher, but Zlatan just walks it off.
What’s Zlatan’s favorite part of a car? The strikers.
Why did Zlatan bring a ladder to the football game? To be the top scorer.
Zlatan doesn’t do push-ups. He pushes the earth down.
What did the football say to Zlatan’s foot? You’re my sole-mate.
When Zlatan takes a penalty, do you know what happens to the ball? It prays.
Zlatan doesn’t get sunburns. The sun gets Zlatan burns.
What’s Zlatan’s favorite fruit? Ap-pear, of course.
The tooth fairy gives Zlatan teeth.
Why did Zlatan quit being a banker? He lost interest.
Zlatan can draw a straight line with a compass.
Up to You!
You’ve made it to the end of a hilarious journey filled with puns, wordplay, and witty remarks about the one and only Zlatan Ibrahimović.
And we hope that these 50+ jokes have given you a good laugh and a much-needed break from your daily routine.
Whether you’re a die-hard football fan or just someone who appreciates a good joke, there’s no denying that Zlatan’s larger-than-life personality makes him an endless source of material for comedians and online memes.
And if these jokes have taught us anything, it’s that there’s no limit to what you can make fun of when it comes to the Swedish superstar.
So, in conclusion, keep on joking, keep on laughing, and keep on supporting your favorite team—whether they have Zlatan on their roster or not.
And remember, if anyone ever asks you if you have any good jokes about Zlatan, just say “Yes, I have 50+ of them.
Want to hear them all?”
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Hey there, I’m Simon, and I started Jokeslide.com to spread joy and laughter. As a 34-year-old who loves humor, I created this website to share funny jokes and mind-bending riddles in a family-friendly environment. Join me in this laughter-filled journey, connect with others, and experience the magic of humor together! 😄🤝