Hey there grasshopper, are you ready to laugh your grass off?
We’ve got 50+ jokes about everyone’s favorite weekend activity – yard work!
Whether you’re a seasoned pro with a green thumb or a hapless amateur with a lawnmower, these jokes are sure to leave you in stitches.
So pull up a lawn chair, crack open a cold one, and get ready to weed out the bad jokes and cultivate the good ones.
Are you ready to dig in?
Jokes About Yard Work
Why did the scarecrow get promoted? He was really outstanding in his field.
What do you call a lazy gardener? Plant-bored!
What do you call a gardening tool that doesn’t make a sound? A silent hoe.
Why did the gardener plant a lightbulb? He wanted to grow a power plant!
What do you call a goat that mows lawns? A lawn-muncher!
Why did the lawnmower visit the psychologist? It was having major cutting problems.
Why did the tomato blush? Because it saw the salad dressing!
What do you call an overgrown garden? A veggie jungle!
Did you hear about the man who planted oats in his garden? He had a sow-ass garden!
What do you get when you cross a flower and a pickle? A dill-lily!
What’s the difference between a gardener and a golfer? One mows the lawn, and the other mows the lawn, then hits a ball.
What do you call a gardener who’s always on the run? A root-runner!
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because it always stood out in a crowded field.
What do you call a gardener who’s always arguing? A compost-tumbler!
Why did the gardener plant a clock? He wanted to grow a time-lapse garden!
What’s a gardener’s favorite type of music? Heavy plant!
Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
What’s the best way to keep grass from growing too tall? Use scissors to give it a little off the top, just like with haircuts!
What do you give a plant that’s feeling sick? Some vitamin-pee!
Why did the tree feel lonely? Because it couldn’t find a cousin tree to wooden-tie!
What happened when the gardener went on vacation? The grass grew out of control and the trees started to leaf.
Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the mower and was afraid to be cut.
What do you call a lawn that cuts itself? A grass-cutting ghost.
Why did the tomato want to be a lawn mower? Because it wanted to be in charge of cutting edge technology.
Why couldn’t the gardener plant any vegetables? Because he had a total aversion to dirty dishes.
What do you get when you cross a lawn mower with a robot? A lawnborg.
Why did the scarecrow start dancing? Because it was trying to practice choreography for its yard work tasks.
Why did the rake go to the doctor? Because its teeth fell out.
What do you call a blade of grass that’s always cutting back on its workload? A lazy strimmer.
Why did the beetles refuse to leave the garden? Because they were comfortable with their current grub.
Why was the garden so upset? Because the bushes kept dropping their foliage and it didn’t want to leafy them.
How did the plant get a job in the garden? It submitted its photosynthesis and cover letter.
What do you call a snail that works in the garden? A slugabug.
Why did the garden gnome need glasses? He couldn’t see the forest for the trees.
What do you call a field of sunflowers that always needs to be watered? A soil and error.
What do you call a tree that’s always late for work? A tardy-fir.
Why did the tool shed get a raise? Because it was always on top of its work.
What do you call a lawn that’s always singing? A grass-ical.
Why did the hedge need a plumber? It had a leaky root.
What do you call a hedge that’s always sneaking around? A privet-eye.
Why did the scarecrow retire from yard work? Because he was outstanding in his field.
What’s the best way to dispose of your lawn clippings? With a good grass-cycling joke.
Why did the gardener only work outside during the night? So he could sleep like a log during the day.
Why did the grass always get along so well with the other plants? Because it always made sure to root for everyone.
Why did the gardener refuse to work with any vegetables? He couldn’t stomach the thought of being beet-en by a tomato.
Why did the landscaper go to jail? He was guilty of cutting corners.
Why did the weed refuse to leave the garden? It was too rooted in its ways.
Why did the lawnmower feel like such a good listener? It always gave a grass of what the lawn really needed.
Why did the gardener dress up as a lawnmower for Halloween? So he could push his way into the party.
Why did the apple tree hate yard work? Because it was always surrounded by other overachieving bushes.
Why did the gardener lose his sense of humor? He ran out of good soil jokes.
Why did the garden hose get rejected by all the other tools? It was too wet behind the ears.
Why did the gardener only wear brown shoes in the garden? So he wouldn’t disturb the soil with bright colors.
Why did the rake refuse to participate in any yard work? It didn’t want to get stuck in a leafy situation.
Why did the spectator get kicked out of the gardening competition? He was found rooting around.
Why did the bird refuse to eat the worms in the garden? They were all too busy doing yard work.
Why did the garden bed feel so neglected? It wasn’t getting the seed attention it needed.
Why did the tomato and the pepper plant refuse to grow next to each other? They were too hot to handle.
Why did the lawnmower always feel like it was going in circles? It was stuck in a grass-parate time loop.
Why did the rose bush feel like it wasn’t getting any attention? It was constantly overshadowed by its neighbor, Mr. Green-thumbs.
Up to You!
Congratulations, you’ve made it to the end of the 50+ jokes about yard work!
You must have trimmed, mowed, and raked your way through all of them.
Hopefully, they’ve helped lighten the load of your garden and lawn tasks.
Now, go out there and keep on landscaping like the champion you are, armed with these hilarious jokes to make the work go by faster.
Just don’t forget to take a break every now and then to enjoy the fruits (and vegetables) of your labor.
Remember, a well-manicured yard is a symbol of a well-manicured life.
So keep on digging, planting, and pruning, and let these jokes keep you company along the way!
Want to LOL More?
Here are other Professions Jokes you’ll enjoy:
- 50+ Jokes About Electricians
- 50+ Jokes About Leadership
- 50+ Jokes About Unemployed
- 50+ Jokes About Politicians
- 50+ Jokes About Accounting
- 50+ Jokes About Nuns
- 50+ Jokes About Yard Work
- 50+ Jokes About Nurses
- 50+ Jokes About Lawyers
- 50+ Jokes About Office Work
Hey there, I’m Simon, and I started Jokeslide.com to spread joy and laughter. As a 34-year-old who loves humor, I created this website to share funny jokes and mind-bending riddles in a family-friendly environment. Join me in this laughter-filled journey, connect with others, and experience the magic of humor together! 😄🤝