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50+ Jokes About Weight Loss

Hey there, you!

Have you been trying to lose weight but feel like it’s just not working?

Need a good laugh to keep you motivated?

Look no further because we’ve got 50+ jokes about weight loss that are sure to have you laughing off those extra pounds!

From gym fails to food puns, these jokes are guaranteed to have you saying “abs-olutely hilarious!” So grab a glass of water and get ready to tone those laughter muscles because these jokes are not to be missed.

Let’s get started!

Jokes About Weight Loss

Weight loss is as easy as 1, 2, 3… or as difficult as trying to fold a fitted sheet.

I lost 10 pounds in just one week! Unfortunately, it was my wallet.

Why did the dieter break up with their gym? They just didn’t work out.

I thought I lost weight, but it was just my phone that fell out of my pocket.

When someone asks if I’ve lost weight, I reply No, I just found my Spanx.

I’m on a new diet where I only eat foods that are the color green. So far, I’ve had three green M&M’s.

I’m in shape, round is a shape, right?

The scale at the gym is a liar. I swear I didn’t gain that much, it must be broken.

I lost weight once, but I found it in the fridge.

Why did the weight loss program fail? They couldn’t resist the temptation of a donut.

If at first, you don’t succeed, try eating a salad instead.

I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it, and then I regret it.

My doctor told me to watch my weight, so I bought a treadmill and put it in front of the TV.

I tried to lose weight by going on a juice cleanse. It only cleansed me of my will to live.

They say money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy a personal trainer and that’s pretty close.

I keep telling myself that I will workout tomorrow, but tomorrow is someone else’s problem.

If someone tells you that they lost weight due to a great workout, it’s probably because they accidentally left their phone at home.

A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

I tried to lose weight by skipping meals, but it turns out skipping makes me hungry and I end up eating more.

If sweat is just fat crying, then I must be having a meltdown.

Why did the dieter break up with her gym? It just wasn’t working out.

Why is it hard to lose weight when you’re a mathematician? Because you always round up.

I’m not lazy, I’m just energy-efficient.

Whatโ€™s the difference between a boot camp instructor and a dentist? In one, you get your teeth drilled, the other, you get drilled about your teeth.

Why did the nutritionist recommend eating a salad every day? Because it’s the only thing that leaves a lot to be desired.

My doctor told me to start eating more greens. So I went home and ate mint chocolate chip ice cream.

Why don’t astronauts go to the gym? Because they don’t like working out in orbit.

Why did the woman start a diet on Christmas Day? She wanted to be able to trim her holiday waistline.

I’m not overweight, I’m just under-tall.

I decided to swear off food and alcohol for New Year’s Eve. Not forever, just until I’m back to my normal weight.

Why can’t a bicycle stand up by itself? It’s two-tired.

Why did the dieter carry a calculator everywhere? So she could count her calories.

Remember, if you lose one pound, you’re one pound closer to your goal weight. Unless you’re measuring in kilos.

To lose weight, I stopped eating before bed. Now I fall asleep all day instead.

Did you hear about the weight loss app that tells you exactly how many calories are in your tears? It’s called Sob MyFitnessPal.

If you eat spaghetti with a tablespoon instead of a fork, it looks like you’re eating way more. It also looks like you’re insane.

What do you call a sleep-deprived dieter? Crank-it-toe.

Why did the woman refuse to exercise on December 31st? She said she didn’t want to start the new year off on the wrong foot.

I’m not gaining weight, I’m just retaining awesome.

They say come for the weight loss, stay for the savings. Sounds like a great deal to me!

Up to You!


You’ve made it to the end of our hilarious compilation of 50+ weight loss jokes.

Whether you’re a gym rat or a couch potato, there’s no denying that laughter is the best medicine for shedding those unwanted pounds.

So the next time you’re feeling down about your weight loss journey, just remember: a good laugh is worth a thousand crunches.

Keep smiling, keep joking, and keep shedding those pounds!

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