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50+ Jokes About Unemployed

Hey there, fellow job seeker.

Tired of scrolling through your LinkedIn feed without finding any leads?

Need a break from the endless application process?

We’ve got you covered.

We’ve scoured the internet (because, let’s face it, what else are you going to do all day?) and compiled 50+ hilarious jokes about being unemployed.

So grab a cup of coffee (or whatever’s left in the pantry), sit back, and let the laughs roll in.

Remember, laughter may not pay the bills, but it’s a great distraction from the pile of rejection emails in your inbox.

Let’s dive in!

Jokes About Unemployed

I asked my unemployed friend what job he wanted and he said, I’m keeping my options open, but mainly I’m just looking for a paycheck.

My unemployed neighbor asked me if I knew where he could find work. I replied, Have you tried the job center? He replied, What’s the job center?

I heard the perfect job for the unemployed is as a mime. They don’t have to say anything, and they keep their mouth shut.

I asked my unemployed friend if he had any leads on a job and he said, I’m not sure. I’ve been too busy binge-watching Netflix to look for one.

I’m pretty sure my unemployed neighbor is a professional sleeper. Every time I see him, he’s taking a nap.

My friend told me he’s taking a break from work to find himself. I told him I didn’t know he was unemployed.

Why did the unemployed man go to the library? Because he was looking for a job with a good story.

My unemployed friend said he’s thinking of starting his own business. I asked him what kind of business, and he said, I don’t know, but I figure I’m already living the entrepreneurial lifestyle.

I think my unemployed friend needs a job in politics. He’s really good at avoiding work.

My unemployed neighbor said his dream job is being a superhero. I’m pretty sure he’s already a super slacker.

My unemployed friend asked if I could loan him some money. I asked him what he needed it for, and he said, Groceries, rent, and my new video game.

I asked my unemployed friend what he did all day, and he said, I mostly just sit around waiting for my phone to ring with a job offer. Or for my parents to call with money.

My unemployed neighbor said he’s getting really good at online shopping because that’s where he spends most of his time.

My unemployed friend said he’s thinking about taking up golf. I said, Why golf? He said, Well, it seems like the perfect way to kill time until I find a job.

My unemployed neighbor said he’s been spending a lot of time knitting. I told him he should open an Etsy shop. He said, What’s Etsy?

I heard the perfect job for the unemployed is as a professional house sitter. The pay is terrible, but at least the hours are flexible.

My unemployed friend said he’s thinking of joining the circus. I said, Why the circus? He said, Well, it seems like a good way to escape reality for a while.

I asked my unemployed neighbor if he had any ideas for a Halloween costume. He said, I’m thinking of going as an employed person.

My unemployed friend said he’s considering going back to school. I asked him what he wants to study, and he said, Anything that doesn’t involve getting a job.

I heard the best thing about being unemployed is that your weekends are always three days long. Unfortunately, so are your weekdays.

Why did the furloughed employee put his laptop in the fridge? He wanted to keep it cool in case things heat up again!

Why did the unemployed sailor refuse to go on any more cruises? He heard that ships were sinking all over the place.

How do you get a jobless golfer to show up for work on time? You tell him the unemployment rate tees off at 9 am sharp.

Why did the out-of-work plumber become a philosophical counselor? He was always looking for ways to unclog the minds of his clients.

Did you hear about the jobless mailman who got into a fight with his boss? He got stamped out!

Why did the banker who got laid off decide to become a magician? He wanted to make his money disappear before his eyes.

Why did the jobless butcher take up painting? He was tired of cutting corners all day.

Did you hear about the unemployed janitor who finally found a job? He’s sweeping the nation!

Why did the unemployed musician refuse to take any gigs? He was tired of being strung along.

What did the unemployed tree say to the lumberjack? You can’t fire me โ€“ I’m rooted here!

Why did the jobless electrician become a comedian? He loved to shock audiences with his one-liners.

How do you help an unemployed scientist get a job? You offer to split the atom with him!

What did the unemployed traffic cop say to his boss? I’m not going anywhere until you give me the right sign!

What do you call a group of unemployed actors? A playdate.

Why did the out-of-work computer programmer become a detective? He was always cracking codes.

Why did the unemployed schoolteacher become a hairdresser? She was looking for a head start in a new career.

What do you get when you cross an unemployed chef with a comedian? A soup-er funny cook!

Why did the jobless pilot become a race car driver? He was always looking for a faster way to get from point A to point B.

Why did the unemployed astronaut become a yoga instructor? He was always trying to stay grounded.

What’s the difference between an unemployed athlete and a couch potato? One is trying to get off the bench, while the other is trying to stay on it!

Up to You!

Well, well, well, now you are an expert in unemployed jokes!

You can turn any awkward situation into a funny moment with these hilarious one-liners.

You can even use some of them in your next job interview to break the ice!

Remember, laughter is the best medicine even when you are jobless.

So keep your chin up, keep smiling and keep hunting for that dream job.

And if all else fails, you can always tell these jokes to your cat!

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