Hey there, you shivering Brit!
Are you tired of the unpredictable weather that the UK throws at us every day?
Well, don’t worry because we have a solution that will surely tickle your funny bone.
Get ready to laugh your soggy socks off with our collection of 50+ jokes about UK weather!
These jokes will make you forget about that drizzle outside and put a smile on your face faster than you can say “umbrella.” So, grab a cuppa and get ready for some hilarious weather-related puns, jokes, and one-liners.
Table of Contents
Jokes About Uk Weather
My umbrella just blew away. I guess it wasn’t befitting the royal weather, it was just too common.
What do you call a hot day in the UK? A miracle.
The weather in the UK is a lot like the lottery. You’ve got a one in 365 chance of winning anything good.
What has 32 degrees and an inch of snow? A British barbecue.
Why don’t UK meteorologists use the metric system for reporting weather? Because it always puts them under a lot of pressure.
If it’s sunny in the morning and pouring rain by lunchtime, you’re in the UK. Dear UK, Are you ever going to get the sun back? Asking for a friend.
Slightly chilly, with a light drizzle = UK’s idea of a perfect summer day
In the UK, it’s always too hot or too cold, never just right.
What do you call a rainy day in the UK? A typical day.
In the UK, springtime means it’s time to take your umbrella for a walk.
Weather in the UK: sunny and rainy at the same time, what a beautiful mess.
The UK: where you’re more likely to get a tan from windburn than from the sun.
Why don’t vampires live in the UK? Too much UV exposure.
I love the UK weather because it’s like playing roulette with my wardrobe.
The weather in the UK is like a cheap date, always changing its mind.
What’s the difference between UK summer and winter? The temperature outside and the amount of clothes you keep on.
You know it’s a British summer when your BBQ is a paddling pool full of cold sausages.
In the UK, the changing of the seasons is like flicking a light switch – no in-between.
What’s the difference between a cloud and a Brit? A cloud can move on when it’s raining.
Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the UK weather forecast!
What do you call an Englishman in the sun? A tourist.
Why do the British talk about the weather so much? Because it’s the only thing they can agree on.
What do you call a summer day in the UK? A miracle!
What’s the difference between an English summer and an English winter? Three degrees Celsius.
Why don’t people living in the UK ever get a tan? They’re too busy dodging the raindrops.
What’s the difference between the UK and a fridge? The fridge is warmer some of the time.
Why did the umbrella break up with the raincoat? Because they always had a stormy relationship!
What do you call a wet dog in the UK? A standard day out.
How do you know a Brit is having a good summer? They post a picture of themselves on Facebook in their shorts and sunglasses.
What did the snowflake say to the raindrop in the UK? This is no place for a winter wonderland!
Why did the UK suffer from a heatwave? Because Hell froze over.
Why don’t the British make snowmen? They can’t find enough snow!
What do you call a sunny day in the UK? A fluke.
Why does the UK only have two seasons? Wet and less wet.
What do you call a person who wears sunglasses in the UK? An optimist.
Why does the UK always smell of wet socks? Because it’s always raining!
What’s the difference between a British summer and a British winter? One is rainy and the other is rainy with some snow.
Why did the hailstones leave the UK? Because they wanted to feel warm for a change.
Why do the British always carry an umbrella? Because they’re afraid of being mistaken for a tourist.
Why did the Brits invent the umbrella? Because the weather is always raining on their parade.
Why did the weatherman bring a ladder to work? He was forecasting scattered showers.
Why don’t Brits eat ice cream cones in the rain? Because they’re afraid of getting hypothermia from brain freeze.
The only thing more unpredictable than British weather is the plot of a reality TV show.
Why did the sun turn down the invitation to come out in the UK? He was afraid of getting burned by the locals’ pasty white skin.
Why do Brits wear so many layers in the winter? Because you never know when the weather will switch from snow to sunshine.
Why did the British government invest in wind turbines? Because they know the only reliable source of energy is the gusts of wind that come with every storm.
Why did the chicken cross the road during a downpour in London? To get to the umbrella on the other side.
British weather is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re going to get, but you can be sure it will either be melting or soggy.
Why did the Brits move their summer vacation abroad? Because they were tired of their tan lines looking like they were wearing a white t-shirt all year round.
Why do the Brits call it a bank holiday? Because the only way to guarantee a sunny day off is to pray for a miracle from the national bank.
If England had a national bird, it would be the pigeon. They’re the only ones who can survive the weather long enough to build a nest.
Why did the Brits invent central heating? To trick the rest of the world into thinking their winter wasn’t the worst thing since sliced bread.
If you want to know what season it is in the UK, just ask the nearest seagull. They’re the only ones who haven’t been baffled by the weather.
Why are Londoners so pale? Because they spend all their time indoors trying to avoid the rain.
Why did the Brits invent the 99 Flake? Because it’s the only thing that can cheer them up on a rainy day.
The British summer is like a mirage. You can see it up ahead, but as soon as you get close, it disappears.
Why do British people always talk about the weather? Because it’s the only thing they have in common with each other.
The UK has four seasons: rain, wind, sleet, and mist.
Why do so many Brits move abroad as ex-pats? Because they’re tired of getting hit in the face with hailstones every time they go outside.
Up to You!
So there you have it, dear reader – 50+ jokes about UK weather that will have you chuckling, sniggering, and maybe even crying (if you’ve been caught in one too many downpours).
Whether it’s the unpredictability of the British climate, the bleakness of a grey day, or the sheer absurdity of a heat wave in September, we Brits know how to laugh in the face of meteorological adversity.
So next time you’re bracing yourself for rain, sleet, hail, or snow, remember these jokes and take comfort in the fact that you’re not alone in your weather-related misery.
Stay dry, stay warm, and above all, stay giggling – because as they say, laughter is the best medicine…unless you’ve got hypothermia.
Want to LOL More?
Here are other United Kingdom Jokes you’ll enjoy:
- 50+ Jokes About London
- 50+ Jokes About Yorkshire
- 50+ Jokes About Weather In England
- 50+ Jokes About London Weather
- 50+ Jokes About Uk Weather
Hey there, I’m Simon, and I started Jokeslide.com to spread joy and laughter. As a 34-year-old who loves humor, I created this website to share funny jokes and mind-bending riddles in a family-friendly environment. Join me in this laughter-filled journey, connect with others, and experience the magic of humor together! 😄🤝