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50+ Jokes About The Weather Being Cold

Hey there, chilly champ!

It’s time to face the cold truth: winter is here, and it’s not messing around.

But don’t let the freezing temperatures get you down!

Instead, grab a cup of cocoa, some cozy blankets, and get ready to warm your heart (and your funny bone) with some hilarious jokes about the weather being cold.

From icy puns to frosty one-liners, we’ve got 50+ belly-busting quips that will have you laughing so hard, you’ll forget all about the chill in the air.

So bundle up, buddy, and get ready for a wild ride through the wacky world of cold weather humor!

Jokes About The Weather Being Cold

It’s so cold out, my car’s thermometer said dang instead of a temperature.


The weather’s so cold, I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets for once.


I think winter is just nature’s way of telling us to cool it with all the outdoor gatherings.


It’s so cold, I saw a penguin looking for a place to warm up.


I’m pretty sure the weatherman has no idea what the temperature is at this point; he’s just guessing at this point.


The temperature is so low, I’m pretty sure my nose hairs froze together.


It’s so cold, I saw a bird walking instead of flying to conserve energy.


There’s snow way I’m going outside without at least 17 layers of clothing.


The cold weather is making me contemplate moving to the equator.


It’s so cold, my dog is starting to look like a furry snowball.


I guess we can all agree that the weather forecast tends to be snow accurate.


The cold weather has me rethinking my favorite season; maybe summer isn’t so bad after all.


It’s so frigid out, I think my eyelids are starting to freeze shut.


Does anyone else feel like they’re living in a snow globe?


This weather has me seriously rethinking my decision to go into meteorology.


It’s so cold, I finally understand why bears hibernate all winter.


I can’t believe it’s still considered fall; where did all the warmth go?


The only thing getting me through this weather is the thought of hot chocolate waiting for me at home.


Is it just me, or is it starting to feel like we’re living on Hoth (Star Wars reference for my fellow nerds)?


The cold weather has me reverting back to my childhood habit of wearing mittens attached to my jacket so I don’t lose them.


Why did the girl wear a turtleneck sweater to her video call? Because it was a chilly conference!


What do you get when you cross a snowman and a shark? Frostbite.


Why do penguins wear jackets? Because the cold weather really gets under their skin.


How do you know if a snowman is smart? He has a degree in snowology!


What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!


Why did the snowman refuse to leave his house? Because it was too snowy outside!


What do you call an Eskimo cow? An Eskimoo!


Why do seals swim in saltwater? Because pepper water makes them sneeze!


What did the polar bear order at the fast food restaurant? A blizzard!


Why is it always so cold at the grocery store? Because there are so many freezers there!


What do you get when you cross a snowflake and a shark? Frostbite!


How do you know if a snowman has a cold? He has a runny nose!


Why don’t you ever see polar bears in Europe? They’re all in Finland!


How does a snowman get to work? By icicle!


What do you call an igloo without a toilet? An ick-loo!


How do you know if it’s cold outside? When you go outside and it’s December!


What did the snowman say when he saw a volcano for the first time? I did not see that coming!


Why don’t you ever hear thunder in the winter? Because the snow muffles the sound!


Why did the snowman go to the gym? To work on his core and stay frosty!


How do snowmen keep their pants up? With snow suspenders!


Why did the snowman break up with his girlfriend? Because she was too cold-hearted for him.


Why did the polar bear wear a scarf? Because he wanted to keep his neck warm.


Why did the snowplow driver break up with his girlfriend? Because she said he was too cold and distant.


How do you keep warm on a cold day? Stay inside and watch summer vacation videos on YouTube.


Why was the math book cold? Because it had too many negative degrees.


Why did the weatherman break up with his girlfriend? Because she was always too cold to cuddle.


Why did the snowman fail his math test? Because he melted under the pressure.


What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.


Why did the ice cube go to therapy? To figure out why he was always so cold-hearted.


Why did the banana go out in the snow? To peel the ice off his car.


Why did the winter beanie hate its job? Because it always got a cold reception.


Why did the snowman go to the gym? To lift snow-weights.


How do you catch a squirrel in the winter? Climb a tree and act like a nut.


Why did the snowman refuse to smile? Because he was frost-bitten.


What do you call a cold flea? A chill hopper.


Why did the ghost go out in the snow? To chill out.


Why did the thermometer break up with its girlfriend? She just didn’t measure up.


Why don’t snowmen ever take vacations? Because they’d melt if they left their frigid domain.


How do you know when it’s really cold outside? When you go to take out the trash and come back with a snowman following you.


Why did the penguin go to Antarctica? To warm up.


Up to You!

So there you have it, dear reader.

50+ jokes about the weather being cold that had you laughing (hopefully not just shivering!) from beginning to end.

Whether you’re snuggled up under a blanket or braving the frigid temperatures outside, we hope these jokes have warmed you up in some small way.

Who knew talking about the weather could be so entertaining?

Stay warm out there, folks, and keep those laughs coming!


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