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50+ Jokes About Substitute Teachers

Hey there, fellow students!

Have you ever walked into class and seen a substitute teacher sitting at the desk?

You know, the one who doesn’t know your name, your teacher’s routine or how to work the smartboard?

Well, get ready to laugh your socks off because we’ve collected 50+ hilarious jokes about substitute teachers that will have you rolling on the floor with laughter!

From their questionable spelling skills to their interesting classroom management techniques, these jokes will have you appreciating your regular teacher more than ever.

So, pull up a seat and get ready for some substitute teacher shenanigans!

Jokes About Substitute Teachers

Why did the substitute teacher stop giving out homework? Because they didn’t want to grade papers all weekend.

Why did the substitute teacher wear sunglasses? Because their class was so bright.

Why don’t substitute teachers rap? Because they don’t know the class-ics.

Why did the substitute teacher bring a map to class? Because they got lost on the way to the school.

Why don’t substitute teachers take attendance? Because they never remember names.

Why did the substitute teacher confiscate the calculator? Because it had too many buttons and intimidated them.

Why did the substitute teacher get a standing ovation? Because they let the class out early.

Why did the substitute teacher give everyone an A? Because they couldn’t remember what they taught.

Why did the substitute teacher bring a broom to class? Because they heard it was a sweepstakes.

Why did the substitute teacher wear a costume to class? Because they wanted to be the life of the party.

Why did the substitute teacher give out so many bathroom passes? Because they needed a break too.

Why did the substitute teacher bring a pillow to class? Because they wanted to catch up on some Zzz’s.

Why did the substitute teacher call for a recess? Because they needed a time out.

Why did the substitute teacher bring snacks to class? Because they wanted to butter the students up.

Why did the substitute teacher show a movie instead of teaching? Because they wanted to be a director for a day.

Why did the substitute teacher turn off the lights? Because they wanted to set the mood for a spooky story.

Why did the substitute teacher bring a prop to class? Because they wanted to play dress up.

Why did the substitute teacher give out extra credit for being quiet? Because they needed some peace and quiet.

Why did the substitute teacher have a book club in class? Because they wanted to read for pleasure.

Why did the substitute teacher bring a guitar to class? Because they wanted to rock the classroom.

Why did the substitute teacher cross the road? To get to the classroom on the other side.

What do you call a substitute teacher without a sense of humor? Unpopular.

Why did the substitute teacher wear sunglasses? Because her students were so bright.

What do you call a substitute teacher who only teaches music? A harmony-replacement.

Why did the substitute teacher go to the beach? To substitute for the beach ball when it was deflated.

How do substitute teachers keep their students busy? By giving them a freshly sharpened pencil.

Why did the substitute teacher draw a circle instead of a straight line on the chalkboard? Because she was a substitute geometry teacher.

What do you call a substitute teacher who’s always losing their notes? A forget-me-sub.

Why did the substitute teacher ask her students to bring a pair of scissors to class? To cut her some slack.

What do you call a substitute teacher who breaks into song? A sing-a-sub.

Why did the substitute teacher bring a map of Australia to class? Because she was subbing for the geography teacher Down Under.

Why did the substitute teacher frown? Because she left her lesson plan at home.

What do you call a substitute teacher who’s always on the go? A sub-marathoner.

Why did the substitute teacher assign a group project? Because she didn’t feel like grading individual assignments.

What do you call a substitute teacher who teaches a class on nutrition? A sub-salad.

Why did the substitute teacher make her students write a 10-page essay? Because punishment was the only way to keep the class quiet.

What do you call a substitute teacher who’s always taking attendance? A sub-checker.

Why did the substitute teacher tell her students to study astronomy? Because she was subbing for the science teacher above the clouds.

What do you call a substitute teacher who’s always playing pranks? A sub-lime.

Why did the substitute teacher have trouble controlling the class? Because she was substituting for a gym teacher.

Why did the substitute teacher bring glue to class? Because she wanted to stick around longer than just one day.

Why did the substitute teacher take the attendance sheet with her when she left? Because she wanted to mark her territory.

How does a substitute teacher say hello to the class? Hi everyone, I’m your new best friend (for today).

Why did the substitute teacher wear sunglasses to class? To hide her shock at how crazy your class really is.

Why did the substitute teacher bring a parachute to class? In case she needed an emergency exit.

How many substitute teachers does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they just sit and wait until the regular teacher comes back to do it.

Why did the substitute teacher bring a pillow to class? In case she fell asleep during one of your boring lectures.

How did the substitute teacher react when the class asked her a question she didn’t know the answer to? Well, I guess we’ll never know.

Why did the substitute teacher bring a remote control to class? To change the channel on the TV show your regular teacher left running.

How does a substitute teacher grade papers? By color-coding them with highlighters (because that’s easier than actually reading them).

Why did the substitute teacher try to make the class do interpretive dance instead of actual math? She thought she was teaching P.E.

Why did the substitute teacher bring a clipboard to class? So she could write down all the gossip about the students to share with the regular teacher later.

How did the substitute teacher react when the class rebelled against her? You may be able to overthrow me, but you’ll never defeat the true enemy…substitute teachers everywhere.

Why did the substitute teacher bring a suitcase to class? In case she had to make a quick getaway (which she probably did).

How does a substitute teacher give a pop quiz? By just making up questions on the spot.

Why did the substitute teacher carry a whistle? She was secretly a gym teacher in disguise.

How does a substitute teacher discipline the class? By giving them an hour-long lecture on the importance of respect (which no one listens to).

Why did the substitute teacher bring a puzzle to class? In case she needed to distract the students from their actual work.

How did the substitute teacher react when she found out the class was planning to prank her? You want to play games? Know what game I love? Calling the principal.

Why did the substitute teacher bring her own snacks to class? To avoid having to eat school cafeteria food (smart move).

Up to You!

So there you have it – 50+ killer jokes about substitute teachers!

It’s clear that these educators are anything but ordinary.

They may come and go, but their hilariously unique approach to teaching never ceases to amaze us.

Let’s be real, we all have those fond (and possibly traumatizing) memories of a substitute teacher that we won’t soon forget.

Who knew that one person could bring so much laughter, confusion, and chaos to our classrooms?

So next time you hear that your substitute teacher is coming in, get ready for an unforgettable ride.

And don’t forget to tell them one of these jokes – they’ll appreciate the humor!

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