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50+ Jokes About Stealing Food

Hey hungry thief!

We know you’re eyeing that last slice of pizza in the fridge, or maybe you’re planning to take a sneak bite from your roommate’s chocolate bar.

We won’t judge you.

In fact, we’ll make it worth your while with this hilarious list of 50+ jokes about stealing food.

So, grab a snack (or steal one if you’re feeling adventurous) and get ready to laugh your way through this post.

Just make sure you don’t choke on your loot while chuckling!

Jokes About Stealing Food

Why did the guy steal the bread? He kneaded it!

Did you hear about the pizza thief? He’s still on the run, but the police have a good crust on him.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To steal the eggs!

What do you call a vegetable thief? A celery-stealer!

The thief who stole the chocolate bars just wanted a twix of the action.

The hamburger thief was always in a pickle.

The person who stole the cheese was caught red-handed and blue-cheese.

What do you call a person who steals someone’s lunch? A sack-lunch stealer!

Did you hear about the thief who stole a whole birthday cake? They really took the cake.

I once had a roommate who would steal my sandwiches. It was a sub-human crime.

I heard the potato thief was caught because he left a trail of chips.

Why do robbers wear masks? To protect their identities in case they decide to steal food later.

The thief who stole the soup must have been a bit bisque-y.

I would stop stealing sugar from the pantry, but I just donut care anymore.

Why did the thief steal the steak? Because it was a prime opportunity.

The thief who stole the fruit from the supermarket got the pear-fect score.

I caught my roommate stealing my bacon. He’s a real ham.

Did you hear about the guy who stole popcorn from the movie theater? He was caught and charged with assault and buttery.

The thief who stole the banana must have been seeking peel.

Did you hear about the thief who stole all the candy from the Halloween party? He was caught because he left a trail of wrappers.

Why did the chicken thief cross the road? To get to the other side of the coop of course!

I’m not saying I’m a food thief, but all of my neighbors’ fridges seem to be mysteriously empty.

Why did the tomato blush? Because it saw you stealing its bff, the cucumber!

If you’re trying to lose weight, just become a food thief! You’ll never know the pain of having to eat your own cooking again.

Why did the chef catch the food thief? Because she was always rollin’ with her homie, breadsticks.

I knew I was in danger of becoming a food thief when I accidentally swiped my roommate’s organic quinoa from her salad.

The only thing worse than being caught stealing food is being caught stealing kale. Can you imagine the shame?

Why did the food thief take a second helping? Because the first helping was just an appetizer.

What’s the difference between a food thief and a magician? The food thief actually makes food disappear.

I stole so much food last night, I felt like I had to be walking around with a giant F stamped on my forehead.

Why did the food thief get caught? Because she was always snackin’ on the job.

The chef caught onto my food thieving ways and threw a pie in my face. But to be honest, it was totally worth it.

Why did the food thief stop stealing tomatoes? Because she realized that crime doesn’t pay, but salsa sure does.

I’m not saying I’m a food thief, but I’ve definitely been known to snag a few extra shrimp cocktail sauce cups at weddings.

The only thing better than stealing food is watching your roommate scramble when she realizes her leftovers have been devoured.

Why did the food thief steal all the Tic-Tacs from the checkout line? Because she wanted to shake things up.

If you’re going to steal food, go big or go home. My last mission involved a cheesecake, a rolling cart, and a whole lot of nerve.

Why did the food thief cross the playground? To get to the other slide of the lunchbox.

The best part of being a food thief is the adrenaline rush. Or maybe it’s just the sugar high.

Why did the food thief go to the dentist? Because she stole so much candy, she thought she might as well embrace it.

Up to You!

Well, congratulations!

You made it through all 50+ jokes about stealing food.

Whether you’re a certified food thief or simply appreciate a good pun, we hope we stole your heart with these jokes.

Now, if you’ll excuse us, we need to hide our snacks before you steal them all.

Keep on joking and remember, stealing is only funny in the world of comedy!

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