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50+ Jokes About Snakes

Hey there, snake charmer!

Are you ready to hiss and slither with laughter?

We’ve got 50+ of the funniest jokes about snakes that will have you coiled up in fits of giggles.

From punny one-liners to clever quips, these jokes will have you charmed in no time.

So, grab your snakebite kit and get ready to laugh till it hurts, because these snake jokes are no hiss-terical!

Jokes About Snakes

Why do snakes always feel so slimy? Because they’re used to hiss-terical laughter.

If you ever see a snake wearing a hat, you can bet your bottom dollar it’s a boa constrictor.

Snakes are great at telling jokes. They always know how to slither in a pun at just the right moment.

What did the snake order at the restaurant? A plate of coiled spaghetti.

Why did the snake buy a suit of armor? To protect its hiss-terical heart.

Why did the snake cross the road? To get to the other ssssside.

What do you call a snake with a great personality? A hiss-terical charmer.

Why don’t snakes ever play hide and seek? Because they always stick out like a sore thumb.

What did the snake say when it won the lottery? Hiss, hiss, hooray!

Why did the snake go to the dentist? To get hiss teeth checked out.

What type of snake is the best dancer? The Boa Boogie.

Why did the snake go on a diet? Because it wanted to have a hiss-terectomy.

Why did the snake stop using the internet? It wanted to be more hiss-terically active.

How does a snake play fetch? It hissssssses the ball.

What did the snake say when it finished a great book? That was hiss-terically good!

Why was the snake afraid of the water? It was a hiss-terophobe.

How does a snake ask for directions? It hisssss-ks for help.

What do you call a snake who loves ice cream? A hiss-terical cone-strictor.

Why do snakes make bad lift operators? Because they can’t hiss the button.

What did the snake say when it was asked to join a band? I can play the hissss-trumpet!

Why did the snake go on a diet? It heard that shedding pounds is good for your skin.

What did the snake say when it lost its car? I really need a rattlesnake.

Why did the snake get a job as a doctor? It always knew how to cure itself.

What did the snake say when it found out it was going to become a father? I guess I better start hissssstling.

How do you know if a snake is good at math? When it asks for pi-thons for snack time.

Why don’t snakes make good pets? They don’t have the time for all the hissing and biting.

Why did the snake go to school? It wanted to become a hisstory teacher.

What do you call a snake that works for the government? A civil serpentine.

Why did the snake cross the basketball court? To get to the hiss-throw line.

What do you get when you cross a snake and a pie? A hiss-terical dessert.

Why was the snake always late for school? Because it kept shedding its skin.

What did the snake say when it got a job at a hair salon? I love cutting fringes.

What do you call a snake that’s good at soccer? A slithery striker.

Why did the snake visit the library? It wanted to try out the snake-n-read program.

What do you call a snake with a speech impediment? A hiss-terical stutterer.

What did the snake say when it lost its voice? I just can’t hiss the way I used to.

Why did the snake buy a cow as a pet? It wanted to enjoy some moo-tual company.

What do you call a snake that’s good at math and art? A hisstorical Salvador Python.

Why did the snake become a detective? It always had a knack for hissting clues.

Why did the snake become a musician? It wanted to play the hiss-trionic pipes.

Why did the snake go to school? Because he wanted to be a hiss-torian.

What do you call a snake that works for the government? A civil serpent.

Why did the snake go to the doctor’s office? He had a hissy fit.

What do you call a snake that’s 3.14 meters long? A pi-thon.

What do you call two snakes that share the same tree? Boa-mates.

How does a snake invite you to dinner? Ssssslide on over and have a bite.

Why did the snake become a comedian? He liked to get a reaction from the audience – a hiss or a boo.

What do you call a snake who’s a great singer? A python-tone.

Why did the snake cross the road? To prove he wasn’t a chicken.

How do snakes keep their skin looking so good? They shed regularly.

Why don’t snakes have a lot of friends? They tend to hiss off others.

What do you call a snake that’s good at math? Adder-able.

Why don’t snakes ever get lost? They always find their way by following their instinct.

What do you call a snake that can solve a Rubik’s Cube? A slithery genius.

Why did the snake try to jump over the river? He wanted to get to the other ssssside.

What do snakes like to eat for dessert? Mouse-terd.

What do you call a snake with a good sense of humor? A hiss-terical comedian.

Why did the snake decide to take up meditation? He wanted to learn to coil-m down.

What do you call a snake that’s a master of disguise? A hisss-terious creature.

Why did the snake swallow a compass? He wanted to find his way around the jungle without a map.

Up to You!

Well, you made it to the end of our slithery and hilarious snake joke list!

We hope you had a hiss-terically good time laughing at these cold-blooded creatures.

Just remember, if you ever come across a snake in real life, just play it cool and don’t let your funny bone get in the way.

Who knows, maybe one day you’ll have your own snake joke to share.

Just watch out for those punchlines, they might bite!

Stay punny, my friend.

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