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50+ Jokes About Sleep

Hey there sleepyhead!

Are you constantly nodding off at work or are you the nap queen/king?

Either way, we’ve got 50+ hilarious jokes about sleep that are sure to tickle your funny bone (and maybe even keep you awake).

From snooze-worthy puns to laugh-out-loud one-liners, get ready to chuckle yourself into dreamland.

So grab your favorite pillow, cozy up, and get ready to laugh until you’re wide awake.

Let’s dive into these snoozerific jokes about sleep!

Jokes About Sleep

What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed? Oh sheet!

Why did the scarecrow refuse to sleep? He was afraid of pillow fights.

Why couldn’t the bicycle fall asleep? It was two-tired.

What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer!

Why did the chicken not sleep well at night? Because it had feather bed.

Why couldn’t the pirate fall asleep? Because he kept tossing and turning in his hammock.

How do you know when a clock is tired? It starts to get handsy.

Why did the cat sleep under the car? It wanted to wake up with engines.

How do you make a bed more bouncy? Put a jumping babe in it.

Why do elves sleep under the stars? Because they are afraid of the roof falling on them.

Why did the ghost refuse to sleep? It was afraid of bed sheets.

What do you call a cat that only sleeps during the day? A siestacat.

Why did the bed sneeze? It caught a sheet cold.

What’s a sleepwalking horse called? A nightmare.

Why couldn’t the math teacher fall asleep? She kept calculating sheep.

Why couldn’t the astronaut sleep? Because he was spaced out.

How do you catch a squirrel sleeping? Climb up a tree and act like a nut.

Why did the alarm clock not want to wake up? It was so tired of its job.

How do you know if you’re sleeping on a haunted bed? You feel sheetless at night.

Why did the pencil refuse to go to bed? Because it was afraid of being pencil-ate at night.

Why did the pillow go to the doctor? Because it had too many feathers!

Why did the alarm clock go to the doctor? Because it had a tic-toc in its head!

What did the insomniac owl say? Who am I?

Why do people never sleep in the library? Because they’re afraid of getting shelved!

What did the mattress say to the bed? Stop springing around and sleep with me!

What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer!

Why do sleeping birds fall off their perches? Because they’re snore-sick of flying!

Why did the bed break up with the pillow? Because it wanted to sleep around!

What do you call someone who takes a lot of naps? A sleepaholic!

Did you hear about the insomniac dyslexic agnostic? He stayed up all night wondering if there was a dog!

How do you know if a bed is asleep? By checking its sheet!

Why do we tell actors to break a leg? Because every play has a cast!

What’s the best way to wake up a sleeping kangaroo? With a jumpy alarm clock!

Why did the lion sleep for 20 hours straight? Because he was part of the roarin’ twenties!

What do you call a sleeping giraffe? A high sleeper!

Why did the snail fall asleep on the job? He was waiting for his shellphone to ring!

What do you call a sleeping 3D printer? A nap printer!

How does a hypochondriac fall asleep? By counting their symptoms instead of sheep!

Why do we sleep after eating Thanksgiving dinner? Because we need time to digest the bird!

What do you call a sheep that never sleeps? An insomni-ewe!

Did you hear about the insomniac who tried counting sheep, but ended up opening a goat farm?

Sleep is like a bank account, you keep withdrawing it every day, but never deposit enough.

I’m jealous of people who can fall asleep anywhere at any time. I can’t even fall asleep in my own bed!

If I get a good night’s sleep, I wake up feeling like a million dollars. Except the reality is, I’m not even worth a penny.

Sleeping is like a spaceship, you launch into space and you have no idea what’s going to happen in the morning.

Do you know what the difference is between a nap and a coma? It’s the amount of drool.

Sleeping is like a wild animal, once you provoke it, it’s impossible to tame.

I tried counting my blessings instead of sheep, but my mind kept wandering and I ended up counting my problems.

They say you’re not supposed to go to bed angry, but what if you’re angry because you can’t go to bed?

I have a love-hate relationship with sleep. I love getting a good night’s sleep, but I hate how it ends.

You know you’re getting old when your bed is the most comfortable place in the world.

I wish I could sell my sleep on the internet, I’m sure someone would pay a fortune for it.

Sleeping is like the ocean, calm on the surface, but full of hidden danger and adventure underneath.

Why does sleeping feel like a luxury when it’s a basic need for survival?

They say early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise. But what if I want to sleep in and be broke and ignorant?

I don’t need a therapist, I just need a good night’s sleep.

My bed is both my best friend and my worst enemy, it’s always there for me, but sometimes it won’t let me go.

I can’t sleep without my teddy bear, but he’s starting to get too high maintenance.

Sleeping is like a roller coaster, sometimes it’s thrilling, other times it’s terrifying, and you never know what’s coming next.

I tried drinking warm milk before bed, but all I got was a warm stomachache.

Up to You!

Well, there you have it!

50+ hilarious jokes about sleep that are sure to leave you giggling and nodding off to dreamland.

Whether you’re a deep sleeper, a light sleeper, or somewhere in between, these jokes are guaranteed to keep you laughing and dreaming sweet dreams.

So the next time you’re feeling sleepy, just remember these jokes and you’ll be sure to drift off with a smile on your face.

Who needs a lullaby when you have 50+ jokes about sleep?

Sweet dreams!

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