Hey you, yes you!
Tired of dragging yourself out of bed every morning and forcing yourself to go to school?
Don’t worry, we’ve got just the thing to brighten up your day and make that attendance chart a little less daunting.
Get ready to laugh your socks off with our collection of 50+ hilarious jokes about school attendance.
From the classic “why did the student eat his homework?
Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake” to some fresh new material, these jokes will have you rolling in the aisles (or your virtual classroom, we don’t judge).
So buckle up and get ready for a wild ride of school-related humor.
Jokes About School Attendance
Why did the student take a ruler to bed? To see how long he could sleep!
Why did the teacher wear sunglasses to class? Because her students were so bright!
How does a vampire student stay awake in class? By attending Bite School!
Why did the chicken go to school? To get a better education, of course!
Why did the student write all her tests in red ink? She wanted to see her grades in advance!
Why did the student bring a ladder to school? To climb the education ladder, of course!
Why did the janitor clean the classroom before the students arrived? He wanted to give attendance a clean start!
Why did the student bring a pillow to school? To catch up on some nap time between classes!
Why were the students so quiet in study hall? They were trying to silence their brains!
Why did the student study in the restaurant? Because she wanted to take advantage of the 24-hour brain food!
Why did the student get a haircut before school? She wanted to trim her attendance record!
Why did the teacher wear her pajamas to school? She wanted to teach-sleeping 101!
Why did the student bring a calculator to English class? Because she couldn’t spell ‘mathematics’ without it!
Why did the school bell go to the doctor? It had a ring-cellitis infection!
Why did the student bring a flashlight to class? To shed light on the subject!
Why did the geography teacher go nuts? Because he kept going around and around the world everyday in his lessons!
Why was the history starting to hate ice cream? Because every time they asked for an ice cream break, they got a lecture about Napoleon.
Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems!
Why was the music room so cold? Because of all the sharp notes!
Why was the drama teacher always sick? Because she kept teaching sick-dialogue!
Why did the student eat his homework? Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
Why did the teacher wear sunglasses to school? Because her class was so bright!
Why did the student miss school on a sunny day? Because he decided to seize the beach!
Why did the math book look so sad? Because it had too many problems.
Why did the student get in trouble for going to school with only one shoe? Because he had missed the bus!
Why did the teacher wear a whistle? To keep class in line!
Why did the student bring a ladder to school? To reach the high grades!
Why did the student go to school by helicopter? Because he wanted to be a high flyer!
Why did the history teacher always go back in time? To make up for lost lessons!
Why did the English teacher always give extra homework? To ensure good grammar attendance!
Why did the student bring a dictionary to school when he knew all the words? To keep the other students in the loop!
Why did the student set fire to his homework? To ensure he got an A+ hot mark!
Why did the student run to school everyday? He was trying to beat the bell!
Why did the student bring a sail to school? So he could catch the angle of learning!
Why did the student’s shoes go to detention? They had been skipping steps!
Why did the teacher give the math test on Valentine’s Day? To give the students the love of numbers!
Why did the student bring a tree to school? He wanted to study dendrology!
Why did the student’s parents have to go to school? For the student teacher conference!
Why did the student break his pencil in half? To pencil in double the attendance!
Why did the school schedule a pep rally on the day of a big exam? To encourage attendance and school spirit!
What did the school say to the absent student? Where have you been applying your absence-see techniques?
Why did the science teacher take attendance three times on the first day of school? Because he wanted to make sure he had a full periodic table!
Why did the student say Good morning to an empty classroom? To make sure the attendance sheet didn’t count him as absent!
Why did the math teacher fail to take attendance? Because he figured that everyone who showed up must have solved the problem!
What do you call a student who never misses a day of school? A ‘present’-minded individual!
Why did the geography teacher ask for attendance in alphabetical order? To test his students’ spatial awareness skills!
What did the school principal say to the truant student who showed up late? You missed a perfect attendance record by a hair of the hare that refused to come out of your bed!
Why did the art teacher mark the entire class absent? Because she thought they were all too focused on their sketches to pay attention to her lessons!
Why did the gym teacher think attendance was a waste of time? Because she thought everyone who showed up would be burning calories anyway!
What did the music teacher say when a student missed a week of classes? Looks like you’ve been out of tune for quite a while!
Why did the chemistry teacher mark an entire class present even though they weren’t there? Because she felt their presence through their periodic table puns!
What did the absent student say when the teacher asked for an excuse note? I’m sorry, I was stuck in a black hole and couldn’t escape the strong gravitational pull!
Why did the biology teacher take attendance based on students’ breathing patterns? Because she figured out their species and wrote their ‘scientific names’ on the roll call list!
What did the language teacher say to the student who missed a week of classes? Looks like your grades have taken a vacation without you!
Why did the physics teacher mark everyone as absent on test day? Because she knew they were all too charged up with nervous energy to be thinking straight!
What did the history teacher say to the student who missed the ancient civilization chapter? Looks like you got ancient skills in skipping class!
Why did the literature teacher throw away the attendance sheet? Because she thought it was too confining and restrictive for creative minds!
What did the math teacher say when the entire class failed to show up? Looks like we’re facing a zero attendance integer here!
Why did the drama teacher mark the entire class present on the day of the school play? Because she knew they were all ‘acting’ their parts with great enthusiasm!
What did the absent student say when the teacher asked why he hadn’t been to school for a week? I’ve been on a sabbatical in my mind palace, learning from the great masters of wisdom and knowledge!
Up to You!
So, there you have it!
Sixty hilarious jokes about school attendance that are sure to make you laugh, whether you’re a student, a teacher, or anyone in between.
Now, if you’ll excuse us, we have to go make up for all the time we missed in class.
Stay in school, kids.
The world needs more educated people…and more people to laugh at these jokes!
Want to LOL More?
Here are other School Jokes you’ll enjoy:
- 50+ Good Clean Jokes About School
- 50+ Comedian Jokes About School
- 50+ Funny Nigerian Jokes About School
- 50+ Jokes About School Starting
- 50+ Jokes About School Supplies
- 50+ Jokes About Numbers
- 50+ Jokes About No School
- 50+ Minion Jokes About School
- 50+ Jokes About School Ending
- 50+ Jokes About Online School
Hey there, I’m Simon, and I started Jokeslide.com to spread joy and laughter. As a 34-year-old who loves humor, I created this website to share funny jokes and mind-bending riddles in a family-friendly environment. Join me in this laughter-filled journey, connect with others, and experience the magic of humor together! 😄🤝