Hey there, smoker!
We know you love your cigarettes but let’s be real – quitting smoking is the best thing you could do for your health.
And what better way to make the process more fun than with some laughter?
So, we’ve gathered 50+ jokes about quitting smoking that will have you choking…on your laughter, of course!
From puns to one-liners, these jokes will keep you laughing all the way to a healthier you.
So sit back, light up your sense of humor, and get ready for some smoking hot humor!
Jokes About Quitting Smoking
I quit smoking because it was just too hard to light my cigarette with my shaking hands.
I quit smoking and now my wallet is getting fat…just like me.
I quit smoking, but I still carry around a lighter to feel like a badass.
I quit smoking because I wanted to live longer than a mayfly.
I quit smoking and now I can finally taste how terrible airplane food really is.
I quit smoking because I was tired of always smelling like an ashtray.
I quit smoking and now I have to find a new way to procrastinate.
I quit smoking and now I’ve become a professional gum chewer.
I quit smoking but I feel like a lamb without its wool.
I quit smoking and now I can’t use my lighter to pop balloons anymore.
I quit smoking and now I use my break time to take relaxing walks outside.
I quit smoking and now I have extra money to buy more coffee.
I quit smoking and now all of my clothes don’t smell like smoke anymore.
I quit smoking and Santa got me off the naughty list.
I quit smoking and now I can’t use it as an excuse to take extra breaks at work.
I quit smoking and now I’m convinced that chewing gum is the best thing since sliced bread.
I quit smoking and now I’m constantly searching for new hobbies to occupy my time.
I quit smoking and now I’m no longer a fire hazard.
I quit smoking and now my car’s upholstery smells like new again.
I quit smoking and now my taste buds are thanking me for it every day.
Why did the cigarette quit smoking? It was burned out.
Smoking cigarettes is like paying someone to give you lung cancer.
What do you call a smoker who finally quits? A respirator.
Why did the smoker cross the road? To get to the other lung.
What do you call a group of smokers who quit together? A non-circus.
Why is quitting smoking like a golf ball? You need to hit it, before you can find it.
What did the cigarette say to the smoker? I’m ash-amed of you.
Why is it hard to quit smoking? Because nicotine is a hard habit to break.
What do you call a smoker who doesn’t quit? An ash-hole.
Did you hear about the man who quit smoking? He had withdrawals and throw-up.
What do you get when you cross a smoker and a jogger? A lung jester.
What do you call a smoke-free bar? Oxygen Heaven.
Why do smokers feel like they’re always running out of time? They’re always out of breath.
Why did the smoker run out of breath? He was looking for a way out.
Why do ex-smokers always carry a lighter? Just in case they ever need a reminder of how far they’ve come.
What do you call a smoking hot vegan? A contradiction.
Did you hear about the smoking magician? Every time he lit up, the people around him disappeared.
Why is smoking bad for your liver? Because your liver is used to processing alcohol, not smoke.
Why did the smoker finally quit? He couldn’t handle the constant nagging from his vape pen.
What do you get when you cross a smoker and a firefighter? A siren.
Why did the smoker quit smoking? He wanted to keep his lungs minty fresh!
Did you hear about the smoker who finally kicked the habit? He was able to get his life back on track – cough free!
How can you tell if someone has quit smoking? They’ll suddenly have more time and money on their hands – and probably way fewer lighters and matches too.
Why don’t smokers ever win any awards? They’re always too busy blowing their chances!
What’s the most important thing a smoker needs to quit? Persistence – and maybe a really good cough drop too!
How do you get a smoker to quit for good? Put them on a band-wagon that’s burning with the same fervor as their old cigarette butt!
Why do smokers make terrible jokers? Because they’re always using puns to cover up the smoke screen!
What did the non-smoker say to the former smoker on the street? “You haven’t been spewing smoke at me for a while now – I almost didn’t recognize you!”
Why do people always quit smoking after a heart attack? Because they’ve finally learned the hard way that cigarettes can be a real killer.
Did you hear that cigarettes are going out of style? That’s because everyone’s quitting – and finally breathing a sigh of relief!
Why did the smoker call it quits? He realized that the only thing worse than lighting up for the first time is trying to quit for the last time!
What do you call a former smoker’s idea of stress relief? Taking up running – and leaving the cigs to the smokestacks!
What’s the easiest way to quit smoking? Just find something else to do with your hands and your lungs – like knitting or exhaling slowly.
Why did the smoker finally give up? He found out the hard way that smoking can be smelly, unsightly, and seriously bad for your health.
What do you call a smoker who’s finally quit? A “born-free” – and one who’s now breathing a whole lot easier too!
Why don’t smokers ever think they smell bad? Because they’re too busy trying to get that “one last puff” before they head back inside!
What do you call it when a smoker quits smoking? An ex-hale-ration – because they can finally breathe a little easier!
Why do you always hear about smokers hitting rock bottom? Because they’ve finally run out of ways to mask the smell of their smoke – and their excuses!
What’s the best way to quit smoking for good? Find something else to burn – like your diet or your fitness routine!
Why did the smoker finally quit? He realized he could no longer ignore the telling signs – like the wheezing, coughing, and constant gagging.
Up to You!
Well, well, well, looks like you made it to the end of 50+ hilarious jokes about quitting smoking!
Let’s face it, giving up smoking is tough.
But, with a good sense of humor and a little bit of determination, you can overcome this bad habit.
Remember, smoking is only a temporary pleasure, but the joy of quitting lasts forever.
So, keep smiling, keep laughing, and kick that butt out of your life!
Want to LOL More?
Here are other Misc Jokes you’ll enjoy:
- 50+ Jokes About Houses
- 50+ Jokes About Being Dead Inside
- 50+ Jokes About Taxes
- 50+ Jokes About New Zealand
- 50+ Jokes About Life
- 50+ Jokes About Venice
- 50+ Jokes About Unity
- 50+ Jokes About Lying
- 50+ Jokes About Quitting Drinking
- 50+ Jokes About Quotes
Hey there, I’m Simon, and I started Jokeslide.com to spread joy and laughter. As a 34-year-old who loves humor, I created this website to share funny jokes and mind-bending riddles in a family-friendly environment. Join me in this laughter-filled journey, connect with others, and experience the magic of humor together! 😄🤝