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50+ Jokes About Parents

Hey there, have you ever heard the phrase “laughter is the best medicine”?

Well, today we’ve got a whole prescription for you.

If you’re a parent, we know you deal with a ton of stress and chaos on a daily basis.

But fear not!

We’ve compiled a list of 50+ hilarious jokes about parents to brighten up your day.

So sit back, relax, and get ready to laugh until you cry (or until your kids interrupt you!) Let’s get started, shall we?

Jokes About Parents

Why did the mother take her son’s toy away? Because he was playing dad joke!

Why do mothers need double doors? To get the stroller through first!

I asked my dad if he wanted to hear a joke about construction. He said, Yeah, I’m still waiting.

What did the mother say when she found her kid playing with matches? Let’s not burn through our parenting skills quite yet.

Why was the dad always calm during an argument? Because his patience-parents were made of steel.

How does a dad make coffee? He grinds his own beans.

Why do parents make terrible DJs? They always skip the tracks.

What do you call a mom who can’t walk properly? A mombie.

What do you call a dad who is always working on the car in the driveway? A garage-a-holic!

Why do parents always tell bad jokes? Because they’ve had years of practice embarrassing their kids.

How many parents does it take to change a light bulb? None. They just tell their kids to do it.

Why was the mother always hungry? Because she was with child.

Why do parents have the best stories? They’ve been around to witness all the mistakes us kids make.

How does a mother punish her kid for being too noisy? She hands them a calculator.

Why can’t a dad be mad? Because he’s a pad with a D!

Why do mothers always tell their kids to wear a coat? So they can feel their pain when they forget.

Why do parents love watching reruns of old TV shows? It reminds them of life before kids.

Why can’t a mother be a teacher? Because she’s not a ruler!

What happens when a dad buys too many tools? He gets hammered!

How does a mother spend her day off? Chronicling her child’s successes on Facebook.

Why did the cookie go to school with a torn backpack? Because his mom said he should learn to appreciate the little things in life.

Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw its parents ketchup.

What do you call a dad who just doesn’t get it? A pop-missed.

What do you call a mom who can’t cook? A miss-steak.

What do you call a dad who is always tired? A nap-tural.

Why do parents always say they’re fine, even when they’re clearly not? Because they’re masters in the art of kid-nology.

What do you call a mom who drives really fast? A speed-racer.

Why did the dad go to the bank? To get some dad-vice!

What do you call a dad who can’t do the dishes? A dish-appointment.

What do you call a mom who is always late? A tardy-mom.

What do you call a dad with no sense of humor? A big no-laff-a.

Why did the mom give her child a coat that was too big? So they would grow into it naturally.

Why do parents always make bad jokes? Because they’re trying to raise the bar.

Why did the dad cross the road? To get to the dad joke on the other side.

Why did the mom take a hammer to the clock? Because she wanted to smash-time.

What do you call a dad who is ashamed of his jokes? A pun-ished dad.

Why did the mom bring a ladder to the party? Because she heard it was a rooftop party.

Why was the dad afraid to tell jokes? Because he feared they would be dad-zas.

What do you call a mom who is always on her phone? A text-momster.

What do you call a dad who is always in the bathroom? A poop-traitor.

Up to You!

Well, there you have it – 50+ jokes that’ll make your parents love-hate you even more than they already do.

Don’t forget to use them sparingly, or you might just push them over the edge!

And if they do happen to disown you, just remember – you can always adopt new parents.

Kidding (or are we?).

Until next time, keep laughing at your parents’ expense – it’s cheaper than therapy!

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