Hey there olive lover!
Do you think you know everything there is to know about these salty little snacks?
Well, think again!
We’ve got 50+ jokes about olives that will have you rolling on the floor laughing (or at least chuckling a bit).
From black to green, stuffed to sliced, we’ve got jokes for every kind of olive imaginable.
So grab a jar, get ready to snack and let’s dive into some seriously funny olive puns.
Table of Contents
Jokes About Olives
Why did the olive go to the therapist? It had some serious pit-related issues.
What do you call an olive that’s always late? Tardy to the party.
What do you get when you cross an olive with a snowman? Frosty the olive.
Why do olives make terrible comedians? They always pit-iful punch lines.
How do you turn an olive into a house? Just add an olive-ter.
What do you call an olive that’s addicted to social media? An Insta-green.
What did the one olive say to the other after a job well done? Olive done!
How do you make an olive laugh? Tickling its pit.
What do olives use to clean themselves? A spongy tomato.
Why don’t olives make good pets? Because they always oil over.
Why did the olive go on a diet? Because it wanted to become an olive-athletic.
What do you call an olive that’s always angry? A salty snack.
Why did the olive go to the doctor? Because it was feeling a bit stuffed.
What do you get when you cross an olive with a bird? An olive-erloon.
Why did the olive run for office? It wanted to be the mayor-ola.
What do you call a group of olives that live near a river? A marinade.
Why was the olive happy to see the dessert menu? It was finally the main squeezon.
What do you call an olive that’s a bit unstable? An olive on the edge.
Why did the olive feel lonely? Because all of its friends were in the pitting zoo.
What do you call an olive with a bad attitude? Kalamata-grouchy.
Why did the olive go to the doctor? It had an olive branch stuck in its throat.
What do you call an olive that talks too much? An olive gabber.
How do you make an olive laugh? You tickle its pit!
Why did the olive join the circus? It wanted to be an acro-olive!
What did the olive say to its crush? Olive you forever!
Why don’t olives have girlfriends? They’re always pitting themselves against everyone else.
What did the olives do when they got married? They exchanged olive trees!
Why did the olive break up with the grape? It said the grape was too clingy.
Why did the olive move to the beach? It wanted to live the olive life!
What do you call an olive that’s been to the gym? A muscular olive!
What do olives put on their toast? Olive oil of course!
Why did the olive get a job as a detective? It wanted to solve the case of the missing pit.
How do you know if an olive is feeling sick? It turns green!
Why did the olive break up with the cucumber? The cucumber was too cool for it.
Why did the olive go to the gym? It wanted to become a lean, mean, pitting machine.
What’s an olive’s favorite type of music? Olive sorts of genres!
Why did the olive quit smoking? It found out it had cancer of the pit.
What did one olive say to the other when they were both stuck in a jar? Olive, you’re my only hope!
How do you make an olive blush? You compliment its pitted complexion.
Why did the olive feel sad at the party? It was the only single olive there!
Why did the olive cross the road? To get to the brine side.
How do you make an olive laugh? You tickle its pits.
What did the little olive say to the big olive? Olive you lots!
Why do olives hate telling jokes? Because they always get pitted against each other.
What do you call an olive that’s always late? A procrast-olive.
What’s an olive’s favorite dessert? Olive ice cream.
How do you make an olive feel important? You give it a fancy title, like royal olive or olive of honor.
What’s an olive’s favorite dance move? The pit-pat.
What did the olive say when it fell off the table? Olive fallen and I can’t get up!
How do you know when an olive is nervous? It starts to oil up.
Why did the olive doctor retire? His patients kept spitting him out.
What do you call an olive with a cold? An olive in need of a tissue.
Why did the olive library close? It just couldn’t keep up with the olive books.
What did the olive say when it won the race? Olive won!
What’s an olive’s favorite type of cheese? Feta.
How do you get a group of olives to be quiet? You give them a little squeeze.
Why couldn’t the olive get a loan from the bank? The bank said it didn’t have a good olive history.
What’s an olive’s favorite type of music? Olive-ternative.
How does an olive like its coffee? With a little bit of oil and sugar.
What do you call an olive that’s a little tipsy? A martini olive.
Up to You!
Congratulations, olive lover!
You’ve made it through all 50+ jokes about olives and emerged victorious with a belly full of laughter.
Whether you prefer them stuffed, sliced, or whole, you can’t deny the comedic power of this little fruit.
From puns to one-liners, these jokes were anything but pit-iful.
So next time you’re at a party and someone offers you a martini, remember to thank them for the punchline that came with it.
Keep the jokes rolling and the olive juice flowing – and don’t forget to spread the joy with your own clever quips.
Cheers to olives and all their salty goodness!
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Hey there, I’m Simon, and I started Jokeslide.com to spread joy and laughter. As a 34-year-old who loves humor, I created this website to share funny jokes and mind-bending riddles in a family-friendly environment. Join me in this laughter-filled journey, connect with others, and experience the magic of humor together! 😄🤝