Hey there, buckle up for a belly laugh because you’re in for a treat.
In this post, we’ve rounded up 50+ hilarious jokes about old horses that will have you neighing with laughter.
Whether you’re a seasoned equestrian or you just love a good pun, these jokes will tickle your funny bone and bring a smile to your face faster than a pony can trot.
So, grab a feed bag and get ready for some horsing around!
Jokes About Old Horses
What do you call an old horse that just won’t quit? A geezer gelding!
Why did the old mare never win any races? She was always hoofing it too much!
How do you know if a horse is old? He remembers when the Pony Express was still in operation!
What do you call a horse that’s been around for a while? A hay-baler, because he’s been through a lot of bales!
What kind of harness does an old horse wear? A gee-whiz master!
What did the old horse say when his owner told him he was too old to race anymore? Hay, let’s give it a trot one more time!
How do you know if an old horse is lying? His tails stops swishing!
Why did the old horse retire? He couldn’t herd it anymore!
How do you know if an old horse is sneaky? He horses around at night!
Why does an old horse need glasses? To watch the Kentucky Derby!
How do you know if an old horse likes country music? His favorite band is Colt Ford!
Why did the old horse get a senior discount at the feed store? He was a little long in the tooth!
What do you call an old horse that runs on solar power? A solar stable steed!
Why did the old mare refuse to cross the river? She already had a few too many water-crossings in her day!
How do you know if an old horse is telling tall tales? His mane stands on end!
What kind of medication do old horses take? Double-hayfen!
How do you know that an old horse has never gone skiing before? He’s never even heard of the mane slope!
Why did the old horse skip the gym this morning? He was already feeling his oats!
What do you call an old horse that’s ready to retire? A Bridle Shower!
Why did the old horse refuse to leave the corral? He was getting too long in the stirrups!
Why don’t old horses race anymore? Because they are too tired to run!
What do you call an old horse who loves to reminisce? A Nags-talgic!
What do you call an old horse that refuses to move? An Equine-tile Dysfunction!
Why did the old horse retire early? Because he was a little horse.
What do you call an old horse that’s having trouble hearing? A bit deaf!
Why did the old horse cross the road? To get to the hay bale on the other side!
Why did the old horse stop going to the gym? He didn’t want to be saddled with a workout anymore!
What do you call an old horse with new shoes? Re-Horsed!
Why did the old horse need glasses? He kept saying, Hay, is that you?
Why did the old horse go to the casino? He wanted to put his money where his mouth is!
How do you know if an old horse is bored? He keeps saying, Neigh and Horsewhip!
What do you call an old horse with a great memory? A record-derby winner!
Why did the old horse retire from the music industry? Because he was tired of being a one hit-wonder!
Why did the old horse keep circling the water bucket? He was trying to make a round of furr-brew!
What do you call an old horse that’s always grumpy? A neigh-sayer!
Why did the old horse go to art school? Because he wanted to learn how to paint his tail!
What do you call an old horse that goes camping? A Trailblazer!
Why did the old horse quit playing cards? He was always drawing a Ze-bra!
What’s an old horse’s favorite book? 50 Shades of Hay!
Why did the old horse go to the shrink? He was feeling a little hoof’less!
Why did the old horse cross the road? To get to the retirement home, of course!
What did the old horse say when he won the race? I’ll take the hay over the money anyday!
Why did the old horse become a politician? He already knew all the old mare-guments.
What’s the difference between an old horse and a young one? One goes neigh and the other goes nay.
Why did the old horse want to learn how to play the guitar? So he could join a stable band.
Why did the old horse need a life coach? He wasn’t sure what direction he wanted to gallop in.
What did the old horse say when he saw his reflection in the mirror? I’ve really aged a mane-ificent horse.
Why did the old horse go to the dentist? He needed a little fill-equine.
Why did the old horse decide to take up ballet? He saw a horse perform and was really hoof-struck.
What did one old horse say to the other about getting older? At least we still have neighsayer in our abilities.
Did you hear about the old horse who was a great storyteller? He had a lot of tales to trot out!
What did the old horse say when he ran out of oats? I guess it’s time to go grain-free.
Why did the old horse want to go skydiving? He wanted to feel the wind in his mane one last time!
What did the old horse say when he was asked how he felt about his age? I feel like I’m stable enough to handle anything thrown at me.
Why did the old horse decide to become a detective? He knew he could find a stable job.
What did the old horse say when he heard a joke? That’s a good one, I’m whinnying.
Why did the old horse decide to start using social media? He was tired of just being a neigh-sayer.
Why did the old horse become a personal trainer? He wanted to help other horses stay fit as they aged.
What did the old horse say when he saw a tasty bale of hay? I may be old, but my taste buds are still young at mare-t.
Why did the old horse become a motivational speaker? He wanted to inspire other horses to chase their dreams, even if they were a little long in the hoof.
Up to You!
So, there you have it, my dear reader!
50+ hilarious jokes about old horses that will make you neigh with laughter!
From wrinkly hide to bad teeth, these old nags have seen it all and they definitely have a sense of humor about it.
If you ever encounter an old horse, don’t be afraid to make a joke and watch as they chuckle along (or at least huff and puff)!
These jokes may be old, but they’ll never be pasture bedtime.
Happy horsing around!
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Hey there, I’m Simon, and I started Jokeslide.com to spread joy and laughter. As a 34-year-old who loves humor, I created this website to share funny jokes and mind-bending riddles in a family-friendly environment. Join me in this laughter-filled journey, connect with others, and experience the magic of humor together! 😄🤝