Hey there, you old-fashioned drink lover!
Get ready for a round of 50+ hilarious jokes that will leave you feeling shaken, stirred, and thoroughly entertained!
Whether you’re a whiskey connoisseur, a gin aficionado, or just a casual imbiber, these jokes are guaranteed to tickle your funny bone and make you thirsty for more.
So put on your best mad men outfit, pour yourself a stiff drink, and get ready to laugh your way through this hilarious list of old-fashioned drink jokes!
Table of Contents
Jokes About Old Fashioned Drink
What do you call an old fashioned drink made with vegan ingredients? An âold figuration.â
Why was the old fashioned drink always tired? Because it was bourbon out!
I made my old fashioned drink with Viagra instead of sugar. Now all my cocktails have a stiff finish.
What do you call an old fashioned drink thatâs been around the block a few times? A whiskey veteran.
How do you know when an old fashioned drink is ready? When it reaches drinking age!
Why do bartenders love making old fashioned drinks? Because they like to stir things up.
How do you make an old fashioned drink thatâs seasoned to perfection? Just add a dash of centuries-old liquor.
What do you call a group of old fashioned drinks lined up in a row? A Bourbon-tourage.
Why did the old fashioned drink decide to retire? Because it wanted to take things a little easier.
What do you call an old fashioned drink thatâs been aged since the Civil War? A boozy veteran.
How do you make an old fashioned drink even more of a classic? Serve it in a vintage glass.
Whatâs the difference between an old fashioned drink and a young gin and tonic? Age before beauty.
Why did the old fashioned drink get a tattoo of a lime? To give it a fresh twist.
How do you tell if an old fashioned drink is good for your health? By checking if itâs highball in sodium.
What do you call an old fashioned drink thatâs been frozen solid? An âicedâ classic.
How do you convince someone to try an old fashioned drink for the first time? Just tell them itâs a vintage recipe.
Whatâs the difference between an old fashioned drink and a game of bridge? Oneâs a classic cocktail, while the other is a classic card game.
Why did the old fashioned drink take a trip to the dentist? To get its bourbon teeth cleaned.
How do you know if an old fashioned drink is really vintage? When it tastes like itâs been fermenting for years.
Whatâs the best way to enjoy an old fashioned drink? Sip slowly and remember the good olâ days.
Why did the old fashioned refuse to order something new? It didn’t want to leave its comfort zone.
Why did the old fashioned take so long to make? The bartender had to dig out the recipe from the dusty archives.
What do you call a group of old fashioned drinks? A retirement party.
Why did the old fashioned complain about the music? It was too modern for its taste.
Why did the old fashioned refuse to try a new drink? It didn’t want to be mistaken for a millennial.
Why did the old fashioned refuse to attend the hip new bar? It didn’t want to be out of place in a sea of voguish drinks.
Why did the old fashioned cross the road? To get to the speakeasy on the other side.
Why did the old fashioned order two drinks? It wanted to reminisce about the good old days with a friend.
Why did the old fashioned prefer to be served in a tumbler? It thought the highball glass was for amateurs.
Why did the old fashioned refuse to give up its place at the bar? It had been there longer than the bartender.
Why did the old fashioned have trouble with the fancy garnishes? It preferred its drinks straight and simple.
Why did the old fashioned take a sip before leaving the bar? It wanted to make sure it got its money’s worth.
Why did the old fashioned refuse to use a straw? It preferred to taste the drink as it was intended.
Why did the old fashioned refuse to be shaken or stirred? It believed in mixing by hand.
Why did the old fashioned feel left out of the modern cocktail scene? It missed the good old days when drinks were served in a humble glass.
Why did the old fashioned feel overlooked by bartenders? It thought they focused more on flash than flavor.
Why did the old fashioned refuse to be diluted with ice? It believed in drinking a strong and hearty drink.
Why did the old fashioned turn down a fancy cocktail? It had too much class for a drink with rainbow colors.
Why did the old fashioned prefer to be served neat? It felt that diluting the drink was a sin.
Why did the old fashioned enjoy a good joke? It appreciated the simpler things in life.
Why did the old fashioned drink cross the road? To get to the bourbon on the other side.
How do you make an old fashioned drink smile? Add a cherry on top!
Why did the old fashioned drink become a bartender? Because he wanted to be on the rocks.
What do you call an old fashioned drink that’s always shouting? A bittersweet symphony.
How do you know an old fashioned drink is happy? He’s got a twist in his step.
Why did the old fashioned drink break up with the soda? Because it was too bubbly for him.
What do you call an old fashioned drink that’s always complaining? Sour grapes.
How do you make an old fashioned drink sing? Add a little cinnamon twist.
Why did the old fashioned drink refuse to date the martini? Because he couldn’t handle all the olives.
What do you call an old fashioned drink that’s always hanging out at the bar? A regular.
How do you make an old fashioned drink say thank you? Stir, sip, and smile.
Why did the old fashioned drink get stuck in traffic? He was taking the long way to the garnish.
What did the old fashioned drink say when he saw his reflection in the mirror? I look neat.
How do you know an old fashioned drink is a gentleman? He always orders for the lady.
Why did the old fashioned drink sign up for a gym membership? He wanted to get toned up.
What do you call an old fashioned drink that’s always getting mixed up? A stir-crazy.
How do you make an old fashioned drink feel fancy? Add a little gold leaf.
Why did the old fashioned drink refuse to go to the dance party? He preferred to be straight up.
What do you call an old fashioned drink that’s always wearing a suit? A distinguished drink.
How do you make an old fashioned drink feel like a celebrity? Give him a red carpet garnish entrance!
Up to You!
Well, well, well, weren’t those 50+ jokes about old fashioned drinks just a barrel of laughs!
You might have even snorted up your whiskey sour with some of them.
From cheesy puns to witty one-liners, we’ve covered it all.
Now, it’s time for you to showcase your newfound humor skills at the next cocktail party you attend.
Just be sure to have a sidecar ready in case you need to drown out the sound of crickets!
Cheers to the good times ahead, and may your drink always be old fashioned, just like you.
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Hey there, I’m Simon, and I started Jokeslide.com to spread joy and laughter. As a 34-year-old who loves humor, I created this website to share funny jokes and mind-bending riddles in a family-friendly environment. Join me in this laughter-filled journey, connect with others, and experience the magic of humor together! đđ€