Hey there, fellow patient!
Are you ready for some laughter medicine?
As a nurse, you know we have to take care of everything from bedpans to heart transplants, but we also have a pretty great sense of humor.
That’s why we’ve rounded up 50+ jokes about nurses that will have you rolling on the examination table.
So sit back, relax and let the laughter therapy begin!
Table of Contents
Jokes About Nurses
Why did the nurse always carry a red pen? So she could draw blood!
Why did the nurse go to art school? So she could learn how to give patients shots.
How many nurses does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they just document the burned-out bulb and report it to maintenance.
Why don’t nurses like to go to parties? They’re afraid of getting stuck with the bill!
What did the nurse say to the patient who was always complaining about the food? Looks like you need a little medicine with your meal!
Why did the nurse wear a stethoscope around her neck? So she could hear herself think!
What do you call a nurse who can’t stand the sight of blood? A lab tech!
What do you call a group of nurses playing a game of poker? The Bluffing Brigade!
Why did the psychic nurse refuse to give patients flu shots? She didn’t want to mess with their chi!
Why did the nurse cross the road? To get to the other side of the hospital!
Why did the nurse always carry a spoon? So she could feed patients and spoon-fed them the right medication!
What do you call a nurse who has a cold? A coughin’ caregiver!
Why did the nurse go to school for so long? So she could take blood pressure readings in her sleep!
How do you make a nurse laugh? Tell her a joke she’s already heard a million times before!
What’s the difference between a nurse and a detective? A nurse solves problems, while a detective solves crimes.
Why did the nurse always have a whistle? So she could call for help when needed!
Why don’t nurses ever get lost? They’re always following the patient’s charts!
What do you call a nurse who works the night shift? A nightingale of the darkness!
How do you spot a good nurse? They have a heart of gold and a brain of steel!
Why did the nurse start her own business? To start a practice of talking healing!
Why did the nurse always carry red crayons? In case she needed to draw blood!
What did the nurse say when she found a bedridden patient sitting up, groaning with pain? Long time no see.
How many nurses does it take to screw in a light bulb? It depends on how much morphine the patient needs.
Why do nurses love jokes about oxygen? They’re always O2 laugh!
Why did the nurse cross the road? To get to the other side of the bed!
What do you call a nurse who works in a psychiatric ward? A loony nurse.
Why do nurses make terrible poker players? They always give their patients a hand!
What do you call a nurse who’s also a musician? A bandage.
Why don’t nurses like otolaryngology? It’s hard to ear what their patients are saying!
What do you say to a nurse with a needle? Thanks for being a pincushion!
Why do nurses always seem to have cold hands? Because of all the ice they apply to swollen body parts.
Why did the nurse bring a red pen to work? So she could chart her patients’ blushing!
What’s the difference between a nurse and a doctor? The nurse knows how to get the patient to the bathroom!
Why was the nurse always so calm in emergencies? She had a secret stash of chocolate!
What do you call a nurse who works in a daycare? A pediatric nurse.
Why do nurses always have such great handwriting? To fool the patients into thinking they have a doctor’s note!
What did the nurse say to the patient who refused to take their medicine? I guess the pills won!
Why did the nurse refuse to work with a patient who brought his own thermometer? Because he had his own ironic temperature.
What’s the difference between a nurse and a magician? A nurse can use a magic wand to make the pain disappear!
Why did the nurse take up gardening? Because she wanted to learn how to make bed pans!
Up to You!
So there you have it, dear reader!
50+ jokes about nurses that are sure to make you laugh, groan, and appreciate the hard work and humor of these medical professionals.
Whether you’re a nurse yourself, work in the medical field, or simply appreciate a good joke, we hope these puns, one-liners, and quips have brightened your day.
So next time you’re at the hospital or doctor’s office, don’t forget to thank your nurse with a smile and maybe even a joke of your own!
Keep on laughing, and stay healthy!
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Hey there, I’m Simon, and I started Jokeslide.com to spread joy and laughter. As a 34-year-old who loves humor, I created this website to share funny jokes and mind-bending riddles in a family-friendly environment. Join me in this laughter-filled journey, connect with others, and experience the magic of humor together! 😄🤝