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50+ Jokes About New Zealand

Hey there, kiwi-loving reader!

Are you ready to have a good laugh while getting to know New Zealand a little better?

Look no further, because we’ve got 50+ hilarious jokes about this beautiful country that will have you cracking up faster than you can say ‘Kia ora!’ From sheep puns to Lord of the Rings jokes, get ready for a wild ride through the land of hobbits and rugby.

So, buckle up and get ready to laugh your way through this post!

Jokes About New Zealand

Why did the sheep go to the hairdresser in New Zealand? To get a nice ewe-cut!


What happens when a Kiwi bird goes on a diet? It gets smaller and becomes a Kiwi-ni!


Why was the New Zealand spider always lonely? Because he couldn’t find a mate-a-tourist!


Did you know that New Zealand is actually upside down? It’s true, just look at it on a map!


How do you know when a New Zealander is in love? They start talking with a Kiwi accent!


What do you call a New Zealand fish that’s always complaining? A grumpy gurnard!


What do you call a group of New Zealanders who have just won a rugby game? The All Smiles Black!


In New Zealand, what do you call a sheep that can sing? A ewe-nique!


Why did the New Zealand rugby player cross the field? To get to the try-side!


Did you hear the one about the New Zealand comedian who made a joke about the sheep? It was a ewe-phoric moment!


What do you call a New Zealand bird that’s always on the move? A kiwi-commuter!


Why did the New Zealand car break down in the middle of the road? Because the driver forgot to put petrol on the barbie!


What did Kiwi birds say when they found out they can’t fly? Well, that feathers my nest!


What do you call a New Zealand movie about a group of sheep that escape the farm? The Fleece is Loose!


Why did the New Zealanders cross the road? To get to the dairy for some hokey pokey ice cream!


What do you call a New Zealand rabbit that’s always hopping around? A kiwi-bunny!


Why did the New Zealand computer freeze up? Because it had too much sheep-ment!


What do you call a New Zealand snail that moves really fast? A turbo-tui!


Why was the New Zealand cow always sad? Because it was always in the moo-d to graze!


Did you hear about the New Zealand pizza chef who made a pizza with lamb toppings? It was the e-we-nique!


What do you call a sheep tied to a lamp post in New Zealand? A ewe-turn.


Why did the New Zealander cross the road? To get to the sheep on the other side.


What is a New Zealander’s favorite type of music? Ewe2.


Did you hear about the New Zealander who invented the self-driving car? It drives on the left, obviously.


Why don’t New Zealanders like to go to the beach? They’re always afraid of getting sand-fly bites.


What do you call a New Zealander with a sheep on his head? A woolly baaaaaaadass.


What’s the difference between a New Zealander and a kiwi fruit? One is small, brown, and fuzzy, and the other is a fruit.


Why did the New Zealander buy a tiny suitcase? He was planning on going to Wellington, and he didn’t want to get lost.


Why did the New Zealand rugby player go to New York City? To see if he could tackle the big apple.


What do New Zealanders call a soccer ball? A rugby ball that’s lost its way.


Why did the New Zealander bring a ladder to the bar? Because he heard the drinks were on the house.


What do you call a New Zealander who cooks outside? A barbie-queerer.


Why did the New Zealanders cross the ocean? To get to the other tide.


Did you hear about the New Zealander who got his left arm and leg cut off? He’s all right now.


What do you call a New Zealander with a big nose? A snout-tiki.


Why do New Zealanders always carry a musical instrument with them? Because they never know when they’ll need to perform a haka.


What do you call a New Zealander in a hot air balloon? Kiwi in the sky.


What did the New Zealander say when he walked into a bar in Australia? Ouch.


Why do New Zealanders never play hide and seek? Because they always get found by the sheep.


What do you call a New Zealander who’s afraid of the dark? A gloom-kiwi.


Up to You!

So there you have it – 50+ jokes about New Zealand!

Whether you’re from Aotearoa or just a fan of the land of the long white cloud, we hope we’ve brought a smile to your face.

From puns to punchlines, we’ve covered it all.

And let’s be honest, nothing beats a good old Kiwi sense of humor.

So next time someone asks you for a joke about New Zealand, you’ll be ready to whip out one of these gems.

Until then, keep laughing and always remember: if all else fails, just say “yeah, nah.”


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