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50+ Jokes About Love And Marriage

Hey lovebirds!

Are you in the mood for some laughter and giggles?

Then buckle up because we’ve got 50+ jokes about love and marriage just for you!

From cheesy pick-up lines to hilarious misunderstandings that only happen in relationships, these jokes will definitely tickle your funny bone.

So grab a glass of wine, cuddle up with your significant other, and get ready to LOL your way through this post!

Jokes About Love And Marriage

Why did the wife cross the road? To get to the divorce lawyer’s office.

Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you’ll wish you had a club and a spade.

What’s the difference between love and marriage? Love is blind, and marriage is an eye-opener.

Marriage is a fine institution, but I’m not ready for an institution yet.

Why do couples who love each other still argue? To get each other’s attention when they’re not getting enough love.

Why do men marry smart women? So they don’t get interrupted while reading the sports section.

Marriage is like a bank account. You put in deposits of love and affection, and you withdraw the occasional fight and argument.

Why do women love to get married in June? Because June is wedding season โ€“ and nothing speaks love like following the crowd.

Love is in the air โ€“ and so is divorce.

I’m not saying I’m bad at relationships. But if love were a board game, I’d be that one guy who always keeps losing at Monopoly.

A happy marriage is like a garden. You have to plant the seeds, water the plants, and weed out any problems that might crop up.

When I got married, I knew that I had found my one true love. But then I found the other seven dwarves.

Why do couples who have been married for years still hold hands? Because if they let go, they would fall asleep.

Marriage is like a gym membership. You pay a lot of money upfront, but then you’re too busy to go.

Marriage is like a deck of cards. You start by playing 52 Pickup and try to keep the love alive by playing Strip Poker.

Why do men fall in love so easily? Because they are always looking for someone to cook for them.

Marriage is like a pair of shoes. You buy the ones you think are going to last forever, but they always end up giving you blisters.

How do you know when you’re in love? When you can’t stop thinking about that one person โ€“ even when they’re snoring in your ear.

Marriage is like a Christmas tree. You pick it out with care, decorate it with love, and then six months later, you’re throwing it out on the curb.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his wife said he could.

What did the wife say to her husband when he asked for a kiss? I’m saving my lips for someone who deserves them.

My husband and I have an agreement. I cook, and he eats.

What is the difference between love and marriage? Love is blind and marriage is an eye-opener.

Why do men like love at first sight? It saves them a lot of time.

What is the secret to a happy marriage? Don’t tell your wife everything you know.

Marriage is a three-ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.

What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite.

Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you wish you had a club and a spade.

Why did the man carry his wife over the threshold? Because it was easier than carrying her through the door.

Marriage is a workshop where the husband works and the wife shops.

Why did the bride wear white? Because it’s the color of kitchen appliances.

What do you call two married spiders? Newlywebs.

Marriage is like a game of chess. The husband is always the king, and the wife is the player that makes all the moves.

What’s the difference between men and women in love? Women can think about their future wedding day, but men can’t see past the first date.

Why do men snore? Because they lay next to their wives who are always right.

What’s the difference between a wedding and a circus? At a circus, the clowns don’t sit in the audience.

Marriage is like a pack of gum. It loses its flavor after a while.

Why did the couple get married in a park? So they could be surrounded by trees when they became stumped.

I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. She told me to prove it, so I got drunk and forgot everything I said.

Marriage is like a public toilet. Those waiting outside are desperate to get in, and those inside are desperate to get out.

Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything including love and marriage!

Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing and fell in love. That’s a true recipe for a long-lasting marriage!

A marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond. But then, eventually, the Joker shows up!

Why did the coffee file for divorce? Because it could not espresso its true feelings!

Why do birds always sing when they find a mate? Because they’re happy, chirpy, and don’t need prenups!

Did you hear the one about the two antennas who got married? The wedding wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent!

Why did the mathematician divorce his wife? Because she could never figure him out!

Why did the grape get married? Because it found the raisin of its life!

Why don’t ghosts stay married for long? Because they’re always getting cold feet!

Why do husbands always ask their wives what’s for dinner? Because they’re afraid of a strained relationship!

The secret to a happy marriage is to always say ‘yes’ to your spouse. Unless, of course, they ask if they can set your car on fire.

Why did the newlyweds go to the doctor? Because they were experiencing wedlockjaw!

Why did the husband cross the road? To get away from his nagging wife!

What do you call it when a man marries his own appendix? A local anesthetic!

What do you call two worms in love? The early birds!

Why did the wife cast a spell on her husband? So he would be under her’spells’ even after marriage!

Why did the husband carry a jar of honey to bed? To sweeten the marriage!

Why did the wife pack her bags for her honeymoon? Because she wanted to carry on luggage!

What do you call a marriage counselor who’s also a dentist? A root canal specialist!

Why did the married couple go on a date to the gym? Because they wanted to build a firmer relationship!

Up to You!

Well, well, well, you made it to the end of our 50+ jokes about love and marriage!

Give yourself a high-five (bonus points if you’re married and your partner joins in).

We hope these humorous jabs at the ups and downs of love and marriage left you in stitches, or at the very least, made you chuckle.

Remember, laughter is the best medicine, especially when it comes to dealing with your significant other’s quirky habits.

So, go ahead and share these jokes with your friends, family, and of course, your better half.

After all, they say a couple that laughs together, stays together.

Happy joking!

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