Hey there, Londoner!
Are you currently experiencing all four seasons in one day?
Are you tired of the unpredictable weather that leaves you clueless on how to dress appropriately?
Well, fear not!
We’ve compiled 50+ hilarious jokes about the infamous London weather that will make you forget all about your rainy day blues.
So grab your umbrella (because, let’s be honest, it’s always raining), sit back, and prepare to laugh your way through this weather rollercoaster ride!
Table of Contents
Jokes About London Weather
Why is London’s weather like a rollercoaster? Because it can be sunny and warm one minute, and then cloudy and chilly the next!
Why did the Londoner carry an umbrella on a sunny day? Just in case it started raining sideways!
Why did the British man go to the weather station every day? To see if the forecast had changed from cloudy to even cloudier.
Why do Londoners never get sunburned? Because they never see the sun for long enough!
What do you call a beautiful day in London? A rare occurrence.
Why do Londoners never talk about the weather? Because it’s always the same!
Why do Londoners wear so many layers? Because you never know when you’ll need to adjust for the sudden change in temperature.
Why is the Thames River so cold? Because the weather is always freezing!
Why does it always rain on the weekends in London? Because Mother Nature has a sense of humor.
Why did the London pigeon wear a coat? To keep warm during the rainy days.
Why is the London Eye the perfect ride during a rainy day? Because you can see the raindrops falling from above!
Why did the Londoner cancel their weekend plans? Because the weather report said there was a 99% chance of rain.
Why did the Londoner think it was springtime? Because the temperature hit double digits!
Why did the Londoner have to use sunglasses on a cloudy day? Because there was still enough sun to blind them!
Why did the Londoner have to use sunscreen in the winter? Because the sun is always hiding in London.
Why did the Londoner wear gloves in the summer? Because even on the warmest day, it’s still too chilly.
Why did the tourist bring a heavy coat to London in July? Because they didn’t understand the weather warnings.
Why did the Londoner find the perfect day for a picnic? Because they thought the drizzle added some atmosphere.
Why did the Londoner consider a snowflake a miracle? Because it’s almost as rare as a sunny day.
Why did the Londoner want to move to a tropical island? Because they were tired of the daily wardrobe change based on the weather forecast.
What’s the difference between London and a washing machine? The washing machine doesn’t leave your clothes soaking wet for days on end.
Why did the Londoner switch to drinking hot chocolate? Because they couldn’t stand the cold and rainy weather any longer.
What do you call a sunny day in London? A miracle!
Why don’t Londoners use umbrellas? Because they’re too busy holding a cup of tea in one hand and a scone in the other.
What’s the best way to stay warm in London? Move to Spain.
How do you know it’s summer in London? The rain is slightly warmer.
Did you hear about the Londoner who went outside without a coat? He was never seen again.
Why doesn’t London have a beach? Because the tide keeps coming in and ruining everyone’s picnics.
What’s the difference between London weather and a bad boyfriend? You can’t break up with the weather.
London weather is like a box of chocolates…you never know what you’re going to get, but it’s usually wet.
What do Londoners say when the sun comes out? What’s that big yellow thing in the sky?
What’s the national bird of England? The seagull, because it’s the only thing that’s used to rain.
How do Londoners measure the severity of the rain? By how many layers of clothing they have to wear.
What did one cloud say to the other in London? I think we’ve been here too long, let’s move on.
Why do Londoners buy so much rain gear? Because they’re always expecting a pour decision.
What do you call a Londoner who loves the rain? A pluviophile.
How can you tell if it’s going to rain in London? Check if you can see the Shard. If not, it’s definitely raining.
What did the Londoner say when they saw the sun for the first time? Wow, that star is really bright!
Why can’t Londoners do anything in the rain? They’re too busy complaining about it.
What do you call a rainy day in London without any traffic? A Londoner’s dream.
London weather is like a box of surprises, you never know if it’s going to be rain or shine.
What do you call a Londoner’s umbrella? A must-have accessory.
What’s the one thing that doesn’t change in London weather? The traffic.
Why did the chicken cross Tower Bridge? To get to the other side, and avoid the rain.
What do you get when you ask a Londoner about the weather? A 10-minute conversation.
Why don’t Londoners use sun cream? They’ve never seen enough sun to worry about it.
Why did the Londoner wear sunglasses during a rainstorm? To be the coolest person on the tube.
How do you spot a tourist in London? They’re the ones wearing shorts and a raincoat.
What’s the difference between a London winter and summer? A few degrees and a lot of rain.
What’s the best way to experience London weather? From indoors.
Why did the Londoner go to the beach during summer? To experience a new type of rain – sea spray.
What’s the most common type of precipitation in London? Spitty rain.
How do Londoners measure time during a rainstorm? By the number of pints they can drink.
Why did the Londoner bring a boat to work? To avoid the flooded streets.
Why do Londoners love the sun? It’s a rare sighting that’s worth celebrating.
What’s the difference between a Londoner and someone who lives in a sunny climate? The Londoner knows how to dress for rain.
What do Londoners do when it’s raining? Stay dry by standing under the awnings of closed shops.
How do Londoners light up their day during a grey and rainy day? By wearing brightly colored clothing.
Why did the Londoner become an expert in umbrellas? To avoid being caught out in the rain.
What’s the best way to greet a Londoner when it’s raining? With a smile and a knowing nod.
Up to You!
So there you have it, dear reader!
50+ jokes about London weather that will leave you chuckling, giggling, and maybe even shedding a tear or two (from the rain, of course).
Because let’s face it, London weather is unpredictable but it’s always good for a laugh.
So next time you’re caught in a sudden downpour or enjoying a rare burst of sunshine, remember these jokes and enjoy the unpredictable ride – just don’t forget your umbrella!
Cheers to London weather – the gift that keeps on giving (us something to moan about).
Want to LOL More?
Here are other United Kingdom Jokes you’ll enjoy:
- 50+ Jokes About London
- 50+ Jokes About Uk Weather
- 50+ Jokes About London Weather
- 50+ Jokes About Yorkshire
- 50+ Jokes About Weather In England

Hey there, I’m Simon, and I started Jokeslide.com to spread joy and laughter. As a 34-year-old who loves humor, I created this website to share funny jokes and mind-bending riddles in a family-friendly environment. Join me in this laughter-filled journey, connect with others, and experience the magic of humor together! 😄🤝