Hey you!
Yes, you – the one who’s pondering the meaning of life while simultaneously devouring a bag of chips.
We know life can be tough and death can be, well, downright scary.
But fret not, because we’ve got 50+ jokes that will make you laugh your way through the existential crisis.
From dark humor to cheesy one-liners, we’ve got it all.
So sit back, relax, and get ready to LOL your way to the afterlife.
Table of Contents
Jokes About Life And Death
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side…of life.
My grandfather always used to say, ‘You only live once.’ Clearly, he never heard of reincarnation.
I asked my doctor for the best cure for my fear of death. He said, ‘Have you tried not dying?’
Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field – the cemetery.
A man’s last words were, ‘I can’t believe I forgot to press ‘save’ on my will.’
I have a love-hate relationship with death. I love to hate it.
Why do ghosts make bad liars? Because they’re easy to see through.
I just found out that I’m not immortal. You could say that news was a real life-changer.
Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing – it was a life or death situation.
My doctor called me and said, ‘I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that you’re going to live forever! The bad news is, the rest of your body won’t.’
I was going to make a death joke, but it’s too soon – my grandma just died. Ironically, her last words were ‘Can’t we all just get a lawn?’
Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
I’m not saying I’ll never die, I’m just saying that I haven’t died yet. So, technically, I’m still immortal.
I told my wife that when I die, I want her to spread my ashes off the top of the Empire State Building. She said, ‘Why?’ I said, ‘So I can finally be on top of the world.’
They say that life is short. Except for a centipede – that guy has a long life ahead of him.
A cannibal was walking through the graveyard. He said, ‘This place looks dead. Do you have any fresh food?’
Why did Death become a vegetarian? He wanted to reap peas.
I’ve decided that when I die, I want to donate my body to science fiction.
Why did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was mainstream, and now he’s dead.
I told my therapist that I’m afraid of dying alone. She said, ‘Don’t worry, everyone dies alone.’ Thanks for the reassurance, Doc.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side…of life.
Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything in life, including death.
Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems to deal with in life and death.
Life is like a camera, focus on the good times, and develop from the negatives.
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field, even in life after death.
I’m not scared of dying, I just don’t want to be there when it happens.
Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two tired of life.
Life is like a roller coaster, sometimes you just have to hold on and enjoy the ride, even if it leads to death.
Why do people say rest in peace after someone dies? Who said the dead need rest in death after a life of non-stop activity?
A man walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says, Life’s too short. The man replies, That’s why I’m having a drink.
Life would be tragic if it weren’t funny, and death would be comical if it weren’t so serious.
What do you call a funeral director who takes his job too seriously? Dead serious in life and death.
Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts for it, even in life or death.
If life gives you lemons, make lemonade. If death gives you lemons, well, you’re in luck.
Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing, and it knew its life was about to come to an end.
Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re going to get, but death is like counting the calories.
Why do people buy cemetary plots? Because they want to land a permanent spot in life and death.
I’m not afraid of death, I’m just afraid of not living my life to the fullest while I’m still alive.
Why did the baseball team hold a funeral for their oven mitt? It was the catcher’s right hand mitt, and it had a short life.
Life is too short to worry about every little thing, but death is too final to ignore them all.
Why did the tomato refuse to die? Because it was living on the vine!
How does a skeleton celebrate a victory? With a bone-crushing high five!
Why do ghosts make bad liars? Because they’re all truth-fully dead!
What’s the difference between life and death? Only one of them has an expiration date!
What do you call a chicken who crosses the road into the afterlife? A poul-treegeist!
How do you know if a vampire is dead? You can’t see its teeth anymore!
Why did the zombie refuse to die? Because it couldn’t stomach the thought!
Why do ghosts love to dance? Because it’s one way to keep them ghostly in shape!
What do you call a snowman who comes back from the dead? A frost-bitten zombie!
What do you get when you combine life and death? A never-ending cycle of birth and rebirth!
How do you know if death just isn’t ready for you yet? You get a hall pass to get back to life!
Why do skeletons make bad housekeepers? Because they always leave their bones lying around!
What’s the worst part about coming back from the dead? Realizing you’ve been in the ground for years!
Why do ghosts always wear white sheets? To keep warm in the afterlife!
How do you know if a zombie is happy in its undead state? Its eyes light up with the thrill of the hunt!
What do you call a spider who comes back from the dead? An arach-necromancer!
How do you know if a ghost is in a good mood? It’s likely to play some haunting melodies on a ghostly piano!
What do you call a frog who comes back from the dead? A slime-resurrected frog!
Why do ghosts love to separate wheat from chaff? It’s the only way to keep their ghostly dietary needs in check!
How do you know if you’re living in the afterlife? Everything just seems to be a little too clean and organized for comfort!
Up to You!
Well, well, well.
You made it through all 50+ jokes about life and death.
I’m proud of you!
And let’s face it, we all need a good laugh about these serious topics sometimes.
Humor truly is the best medicine.
Whether you’re laughing at the irony of life or making light of the inevitable, it’s important to find the joy in every moment.
So keep on laughing, my friend, and don’t take life or death too seriously.
After all, as Woody Allen once said, “I’m not afraid of death; I just don’t want to be there when it happens.”
Want to LOL More?
Here are other Misc Jokes you’ll enjoy:
- 50+ Jokes About Cause Of Death
- 50+ Jokes About Quitting Smoking
- 50+ Jokes About Unity
- 50+ Jokes About Load Shedding
- 50+ Jokes About Quarters
- 50+ Jokes About Life And Death
- 50+ Jokes About Near Death
- 50+ Jokes About New Beginnings
- 50+ Jokes About Narcissists
- 50+ Jokes About Rome
Hey there, I’m Simon, and I started Jokeslide.com to spread joy and laughter. As a 34-year-old who loves humor, I created this website to share funny jokes and mind-bending riddles in a family-friendly environment. Join me in this laughter-filled journey, connect with others, and experience the magic of humor together! 😄🤝