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50+ Jokes About Lawyers

Hey there, have you ever found yourself in need of a good laugh at the expense of lawyers?

Well, you’re in luck!

We’ve compiled a list of 50+ hilarious jokes that will have you rolling on the floor in stitches.

Whether you’re a lawyer yourself or just love poking fun at these legal eagles, our jokes will leave you entertained and wanting more.

So, grab a cup of coffee and get ready to chuckle your way through the ultimate collection of lawyer jokes.

Jokes About Lawyers

Why don’t lawyers go on vacation? They’re afraid of motion for summary judgment.

Why did the lawyer cross the road? To get to the other jurisdiction.

What do you call a lawyer who doesn’t know the law? Unemployed.

Why did the lawyer bring a ladder to court? He wanted to climb the legal ladder.

Why don’t lawyers work on weekends? Because it’s against their billable hours.

How do you know if a lawyer is lying? His lips are moving.

What’s the difference between a lawyer and a vampire? The lawyer only sucks blood during business hours.

What do you call a lawyer who wears a suit and tie? The defendant.

What do you call a group of lawyers lying at the bottom of the ocean? A good start.

Why don’t sharks attack lawyers? Professional courtesy.

How can you tell if a lawyer is a vampire? He’s always filing briefs.

Why don’t lawyers use bookmarks? They prefer to bill by the hour.

What do you call a lawyer who is a good listener? An ambulance chaser.

What’s the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline? You take off your shoes before jumping on a trampoline.

Why don’t lawyers play hide and seek? They’re too good at finding loopholes.

Why did the lawyer refuse a breathalyzer test? He wanted his hourly rate to stay high.

What’s the difference between a lawyer and a pit bull? The pit bull eventually lets go.

What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50? Your honor.

Why did the lawyer refuse to wear a tie to court? He wanted to keep a low bar.

What do you call a lawyer who is also a drummer? The law beats.

What do you call 10,000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A good start.

How do you know a lawyer is lying? Their lips are moving.

What’s the difference between a lawyer and a leech? One is a blood sucking parasite, the other is a type of worm.

Why don’t lawyers go to the beach? Because cats keep trying to bury them.

How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb? Three. One to climb the ladder, one to shake it, and one to sue the ladder company.

What’s the difference between a dead skunk on the road and a dead lawyer on the road? There’s skid marks in front of the skunk.

Why don’t sharks attack lawyers? Professional courtesy.

How do you make a lawyer smile? You write them a cheque.

Why don’t lawyers play hide and seek? They don’t want to be found.

Why won’t sharks attack lawyers? They taste too bitter.

Why did the lawyer cross the road? To get to the wrong side.

What do you call a lawyer working in construction? An injury waiting to happen.

Why doesn’t anyone trust a lawyer? They always take things out of context.

Why did the lawyer refuse to let the judge see his evidence? He was afraid of objection.

What’s the difference between a lawyer and a vulture? A vulture can only eat dead animals.

Why did the lawyer go skydiving? He wanted to try something to make his clients understand how it felt.

How do lawyers sleep at night? First, they lie on one side, then they lie on the other.

How do you know a lawyer is successful? They have a Rolex but still sue over a missing hair in their soup.

What do you get when you cross a lawyer with a pig? Nothing, there are some things even a pig won’t do.

Why do lawyers always leave early for lunch? To beat the rush to the courthouse cafeteria.

Up to You!

Well, there you have it!

50+ jokes about lawyers – hope you got some laughs and that your legal woes are slightly less daunting!

Remember, next time you find yourself in a courtroom, keep your wits about you and maybe even crack a joke or two.

Who knows, it might just win over the jury!

Keep smiling, keep laughing and keep the good times rolling.

And always remember, when you need a laugh, turn to your trusty lawyer jokes.

They might not be admissible in court, but they’ll always be hilarious!

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