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50+ Jokes About Kissing

Hey there, kissing connoisseur!

Are you ready for some hilarious snogging jokes that will have you puckering up in laughter?

Look no further because we’ve rounded up 50+ of the funniest, most tongue-in-cheek quips about all things smooching.

Whether you’re a seasoned pro or a newbie to the kissing game, these jokes will have you bursting at the lips with laughter.

So sit back, relax, and get ready to smooch your way through some side-splitting giggles with these 50+ jokes about kissing!

Jokes About Kissing

Did you hear about the guy who got kissed by a park bench? He was a little wooden afterwards!

Why did the bee refuse to kiss the flower? Because he didn’t want to get pollenated!

What do you call two robbers who kiss each other? Burglars in love!

Why did the chicken refuse to kiss the rooster? Because she didn’t want him to get egg-cited!

Why did the frog kiss the chair? Because he heard it had a lot of cushion!

How do you know if a kiss is bad? If it leaves you breathless… and not in a good way!

Why did the scientist invent a kissing machine? To avoid human contact!

What’s a dental hygienist’s favorite type of kiss? The flossy, minty one!

Why did the grape refuse to kiss the apple? Because he didn’t want to be juiced!

Did you hear about the couple who got locked in a freezer and had to kiss to stay warm? They eventually thawed out… and broke up!

Why did the sailor kiss the anchor? Because he was feeling tied down!

What do you call a kiss between two cows? Cudly!

Why did the bear refuse to kiss the deer? Because he didn’t want to be caught with his claws out!

What’s the difference between a kiss and a grape? One’s sweet and juicy, the other is a fruit!

Why did the plumber kiss the leaky faucet? Because he wanted to seal the deal!

How do you know if a kiss is magical? If it makes you levitate!

What do you call a kiss between two fish? A smooch underwater!

Why did the firefighter kiss the burning building? To put out the flames!

Did you hear about the cat who kissed the mouse? It was a whisker away from being a disaster!

Why did the computer kiss the printer? Because it wanted to print a memory!

What did the dentist say to his wife? “I’ll hug you and kiss you, but don’t get too close. I’m sterile!”

Why did the cigarette have a better kiss than the lipstick? It had a longer filter!

What do you get when you cross a butterfly and a kiss? Butter-kissed!

What do you call a bear that loves to kiss? A big smoochie!

What did the mom say to her son when he spilled his first kiss? “Better clean that up! You don’t want any ants on your lips!”

Why shouldn’t you tell a secret on a kiss? Because slips of the lips sink ships!

What did the boyfriend say when his girlfriend asked for a kiss on the nose? “Sorry, I don’t do Eskimo kisses. I’m allergic to cold.”

What happened when two frogs kissed? They turned into a Prince and a Princess!

What’s the difference between a peck and a kiss? About two seconds of lip time.

Why did the girl give her boyfriend a candy kiss? Because she wanted him to be sweet on her!

Why did the archaeologist kiss his wife on the lips? Because he wanted to dig up some love!

What did the bee say to the flower when they kissed? “Honey…I’m home!”

What did the grape say to the orange when they kissed? “You’re the zest, baby!”

How do you get down off a kiss? You don’t have to, it’ll always come back down to you!

Why don’t ghosts kiss much? They keep their love life…under wraps!

What do you call a dentist that kisses his patients? A cavity crepe!

What did the girl say when her boyfriend tried to kiss her with bad breath? “Shall we take a mid-air kisstoric flight?”

Why did the tree and the wind make out? They were leafing nothing to chance!

What did the lettuce say to the tomato when they kissed? “We’re in a pickle now!”

Why did the robot kiss the girl? He had trouble with his software and needed a reboot!

Why did the girl kiss the frog? Because she wanted some prince-ly affection!

Know why kissing is like a spaceship? Because sometimes you just need a little boost to get off the ground.

Hey, did you hear why kissing is like a window? Because sometimes you need to open it up to let some fresh air in.

You know the difference between a kiss and an earthquake? One can cause some pretty big aftershocks, while the other is just a natural disaster.

Why was the kissing booth abandoned? Because the lips on the sign were always puckered up!

If a kiss is like a rose, then does that mean a thorn would be like a bite?

Have you ever heard of a kiss being an acquired taste? Well, I suppose it’s like coffee – some people just aren’t into it at first.

Why did the bird refuse to kiss the bee? Because they had a sting-ent relationship!

Do you know what a kissing contest and a spelling bee have in common? They both involve a lot of p-u-c-c-i-n-a-t-i-o-n.

Why did the toothbrush want to kiss the mouthwash? Because it wanted to add some extra floss to its day!

Why was kissing like a seesaw? Because sometimes one person is up, and the other is down.

Why did the octopus refuse to kiss the jellyfish? Because it wanted to keep its arms free for other things!

Have you ever heard of a reverse kiss? It’s when you pull your face away and try to suck the air out of someone’s mouth.

Why did the puppy refuse to kiss its owner? Because it was too busy licking its butt!

Why did the horse want to kiss the donkey? Well, sometimes you just need to show a little ass-piration.

Why did the fruit refuse to kiss the vegetable? Because it didn’t want to be part of a mixed medley!

Why did the dentist refuse to kiss his patient? Because she had some major cavity problems!

Did you hear the one about the kissing chocolate bar? It was very sweet, but left a bitter taste in your mouth.

Why did the clown refuse to kiss his partner? Because he needed to keep his lips painted on!

Why was the kissing booth operating at a loss? Because the manager kept giving out fake kisses!

Up to You!

Well, now you’ve got a whole arsenal of kissing jokes to add to your repertoire.

From cheesy pickup lines to awkward encounters, there’s a little something for everyone.

So go out there, pucker up, and make all your friends laugh with these hilarious quips.

Who knows, you might even be able to use them to score a kiss or two !

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