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50+ Jokes About Houses

Hey, you there!

Do you love laughing and talking about houses?

Well, have we got a treat for you!

Hold on to your tool belts, because we’ve got 50+ hilarious jokes about houses that will make you howl like a drill sergeant!

From the roof to the foundation, we’ve got every square inch covered with puns, one-liners, and wacky wordplay that will make you feel right at home.

So, let’s get started and see just how funny a house can be!

Jokes About Houses

Why do houses always have roofs? So the rain can go on top and not fall inside!

What’s a house’s favorite game? I Spy!

Why don’t houses ever get sick? Because they have immunity walls!

Did you hear about the house that got a restraining order? Its neighbors thought it was too close for comfort!

Why do houses always have to be careful with their windows? Because they might pane-durize their milk!

Why did the car park in the driveway instead of the garage? It wanted to see what it was like to be a house for once!

Why do houses hate rainbows? They always attract unicorns!

Why don’t houses ever have any friends? Because they always have walls up!

Why do old houses always creak? Because they have arthritis!

How do you stop a house from sneezing? You give it a tissue-paper!

Why did the house start running? It wanted to be a run-down property!

What kind of clothing is best for houses? Address!

Why was the house always cold? Because it had no heater(-ter)!

How do you know if a house is afraid of roller coasters? It’ll have a peaked roof!

Why did the house take out a loan? It wanted a porch while its property was still hot(-mortgage)!

What’s a house’s favorite cryptocurrency? Block(chain) house!

Why do houses always have to cry? They have emotional foundations!

How do you get a house to laugh? Tell it a roof joke!

Why are old houses always so creepy? They like to keep skeletons in their closets!

Why did the house stop being friends with the garage? It said there was no space for friendship!

Why did the house break up with its girlfriend? Because she was too attached to the lawn.

Why did the banana go to the house? Because it heard there was a peel party!

Why did the door stop being friends with the window? Because it couldn’t handle the pane.

Why did the window cross the road? To get to the tinted side.

Why do houses hate snowmen? Because it’s cold outside.

Why did the garage door feel lonely? Because it had no one to open up to.

Why did the roof go to the doctor? Because it felt like it had a leaky gut.

Why don’t houses like making simple math calculations? Because they’re into more complex structures.

What do you call a house that can sing? A mortgage note.

Why do roofs get so cold in the winter? Because they’re over your head.

Why did the housekeeper quit her job? She was tired of getting house dust all over her face.

What do you call a house that’s full of birds? A nest-egg.

Why did the mansion go on a diet? Because it was tired of having a massive footprint.

What do you call a house that keeps changing its mind? A flipping house.

What do you call a house party with only one person? A solitaire party.

Why did the gingerbread house get vandalized? It was full of candy.

Why did the mansion feel insecure? Because it always compared itself to the Taj Mahal.

What do you call a house that’s too small for its inhabitants? A tiny hovel.

Why did the haunted house have a broken heart? Its feelings were ghosted.

What do you call a house that’s constantly losing money? A deed end.

Why did the house go to the doctor? It had a case of roof-itis.

What do you call a haunted house for chickens? A poultry-geist.

Why couldn’t the house go to the party? It was grounded.

Why did the house need a break? It was feeling wall-to-wall.

Did you hear about the house that was arrested? It was for breaking and entering.

Why did the house win the beauty pageant? It had great curb appeal.

Why did the house need therapy? It had abandonment issues (it was foreclosed).

What do you call a house that’s always lying? A sham-bles.

Why did the house get into a fight with itself? It was having a house divided.

Why did the house keep losing its keys? It had a lack of foundation.

Why did the house start singing in the shower? It wanted to show off its pipes.

What do you call a house with no windows? A dark horse.

Why did the house go to the gym? It wanted to strengthen its structure.

What do you get when you cross a house with a bird? A nest-egg.

Why did the house feel unbalanced? It had a door-mat for a foundation.

What do you call a house with an appetite? A home-towner.

Why did the house feel insecure? It had a support group (of beams).

Why did the house lose its job? It was downsized (its attic was converted into a studio apartment).

What do you call a house with a cold? A snuffle-up-a-gusset.

Why did the house join a choir? It had great acoustics.

Up to You!

So, now you know all 50+ jokes about houses, and hopefully, you got a good laugh out of them too!

Now, the next time you’re driving by a dilapidated house or looking at a potential new home, you’ll have a myriad of puns and jokes to share with your friends and family.

Home is where the heart is, but these jokes are where the humor is!

Keep them handy, and keep spreading the laughter.

Remember, a good joke never gets old, just like a good house.

So, go ahead and share these hilarious jokes with your loved ones and brighten up their day!

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