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50+ Jokes About Harry Potter

Hey there, dear Potterhead!

Are you in need of a good laugh?

Look no further, because we have compiled a list of 50+ hilariously pun-derful jokes about Harry Potter!

Whether you’re a Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, or Slytherin, you’re guaranteed to crack a smile or two.

Grab your broomstick (or your wand, if you prefer) and get ready to laugh your sorcerer’s hat off!

Jokes About Harry Potter

Why did Harry Potter cross the road? To get to Platform 9 3/4!

What do you call a Hufflepuff in a bathrobe? A wizarding towel!

How does Harry Potter get rid of his enemies? With Avada Kebab-davra!

What do Harry Potter and his friends use to keep their teeth clean? Expecto Dentitum!

Why did Harry Potter fail his driving test? He couldn’t remember which pedal made the broomstick go up!

How many Death Eaters does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They’d rather stay in the dark.

How does Harry Potter get his exercise? By walking to the Cupboard Under the Stairs!

Why do Slytherins make terrible bartenders? Because they always try to serve dark magic instead of drinks!

What do you call a group of wizard bankers? A Gringotts Gang!

Why did the Dementor start going to therapy? It wanted to kiss its problems goodbye!

Why did Professor Snape go on a diet? He wanted to lose Slyther-pounds!

Why did Hermione stop transfiguring herself into cats? She was starting to purrfur being human!

What do you call it when a Ravenclaw fails a test? A Gryffindor Moment!

Why don’t Hogwarts students play quidditch in the rain? They don’t want to catch the snitch cold!

Why did the wizard break up with his girlfriend? He said he needed more space… in Azkaban!

Why did Ron become a chef after leaving Hogwarts? Because he wanted to be a Weasley Whisker!

What do you call a magical creature who’s always late? A Hufflepuffin!

Why did Luna Lovegood become a plant enthusiast? She wanted to grow Lovegoods!

Why did Voldemort refuse to play cards? He was scared of the Avada Kedavra of Spades!

How does Harry Potter make a sandwich? With Brie-diddly-um Leviosa!

Why did Harry Potter cross the road? To get to the other Slytherin.

What do you call Harry Potter when he lost his memory? Hairy Amnesia.

Why did Voldemort fail at math? He couldn’t do magic without a wand.

Did you hear the one about the Hufflepuff who got expelled? He was caught smoking herbology.

What do you get when you mix Hagrid and Fluffy? Lots of hair and a mouthful of slobber.

What did Harry Potter say to the Hogwarts Express? Platform 9 3/4, you’re my only train.

Why did Hermione refuse to tell Ron about her crush on Harry? She didn’t want to cause a Weasley love triangle.

Why did Dumbledore always have an umbrella with him? In case he needed to cast a rain spell.

What do you call a wizard who is bad at spelling? A Hufflepuff.

How can you tell if someone is a Harry Potter fan? They can point their wand without using their hands.

What is the difference between a Hogwarts student and a toilet? A toilet can flush itself.

Why did Dobby give Harry Potter socks for Christmas? He heard Harry couldn’t afford a subscription to the Daily Prophet.

What did Voldemort say when the bartender asked him Why so serious? I killed Harry Potter and I still don’t know how to laugh.

What does Harry Potter wear to work? His Gryffindor uniform, of course.

Why did Ron Weasley become an artist? He was always drawing Hermione’s attention.

Why was Ron Weasley so scared to ask out Hermione? He was afraid of the Slytherin’s response.

How many Hogwarts students does it take to change a light bulb? None, they just use a wand to cast the Lumos spell.

Why did McGonagall always prefer choosing Gryffindors over Slytherins? Because she didn’t want any snakes in her house.

Why was Harry Potter bad at Quidditch? He always dodged the Snitch.

How many Death Eaters does it take to change a light bulb? None, they would rather sit in the dark and plot their revenge.

Why did Harry Potter cross the road? To get to the other side, Voldemort was on the same side.

Why did Voldemort die? Because he failed to read the fine print in his spellbook and accidentally said Avocado instead of Avada Kedavra.

What did Albus Dumbledore say when he saw Harry Potter’s messy hair? Hairy Potter!

What do Harry Potter and a firefighter have in common? They both fight the fire(wands).

How does Harry Potter knit? With his Gryffin-dor needles!

What do you call Harry Potter’s biggest fan? A Potter-head!

Why was Harry Potter bad at math? Because he couldn’t spell cal-culus.

What did Harry Potter say when he walked into a bar? I need a butterbeer.

Why did Harry Potter’s toad cross the road? To hop to the other side!

Why did Harry Potter sneeze? Because of all the owl-ergies!

What do you call a group of Harry Potter fans? A Chamber of Secrets.

How do you know when Harry Potter is getting angry? When his glasses start to fog up.

Why did Ron Weasley cross the road? To see if Hermione was on the other side!

What did Harry Potter say to the sorting hat? I hope I get sorted into Huffle-puff-puff-pass!

What kind of cereal does Harry Potter eat? Golden Snitch Crunch!

What’s Harry Potter’s favorite type of pie? Pumpkin-Pie-fiend!

Why did Harry Potter go to the gym? To tone his wizarding muscles!

Why did Harry Potter get a pet snake? Because he always wanted a slither-ean snake!

What does Harry Potter say when he’s feeling hot? Expecto-sweat-o!

How do you keep Harry Potter’s robes clean? With a lumos-tressed washing spell!

Up to You!

So there you have it, dear reader – 50+ magical jokes about your favorite wizard and his delightful friends.

From Dumbledore to Draco Malfoy, from the Marauders to the Weasley twins, there’s something here for every Potterhead to enjoy.

Whether you’re a Gryffindor, a Slytherin, a Hufflepuff, or a Ravenclaw, you can always count on Harry Potter to put a smile on your face.

So go forth, laugh out loud, and remember – Mischief Managed!

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