Hey, smarty pants!
Congrats on making it to graduate school.
But let’s be real – the only thing harder than grad school itself is finding some humor in it.
Luckily for you, we’ve compiled 50+ jokes that perfectly sum up your new life of endless studying, sleepless nights, and caffeine-filled days.
Embrace the chaos and get ready to laugh (or cry, whichever comes first).
Here are the 50+ jokes about graduate school you never knew you needed.
Jokes About Graduate School
Why did the grad student take their thesis to the gym? To give it a workout.
What do you get when you cross grad school with a circus? A-degree-batic acts.
Why did the professor love teaching at grad school? Because they got to give out grade-uation caps.
Why did the grad student quit their job at the orange juice factory? They couldn’t concentrate.
What do you call a grad student who’s always singing? A thesinger.
Why did the grad student go on a diet? So they could make it to graduation weight.
How many grad students does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, but it’ll take them five years and several hundred pages to do it.
Why don’t grad students trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
What’s the difference between a grad student and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four.
What do you get when you cross a grad student with an owl? A nocturnal procrastinator.
Why did the grad student switch to decaf? So they could sleep through more classes.
What do you call a grad student who’s always losing their textbooks? A book-ward.
How do you make a grad student cry? Tell them they have to start their thesis over.
Why did the grad student go to the dentist? To fill their cavities with knowledge.
What do you get when you cross a grad student with a comedian? A stand-up academic.
Why did the grad student join a band? They wanted to major in rhythm and blues.
What do you call a grad student who doesn’t drink coffee? Un-caffeinated.
What do you call a group of grad students? A procrastination station.
How many grad students does it take to write a dissertation? Only one, but it’s more efficient to have a committee of ten and a room full of pizza.
Why did the grad student set their laptop on fire? They wanted to experience the heat of the moment.
Why did the graduate student cross the road? To get to the lab on the other side.
Why do graduate students make great teachers? They’re used to talking to walls.
What kind of coffee do graduate students drink? Dissertation blend.
What’s the difference between a graduate student and a puppy? Eventually, the puppy grows up and stops whining.
Why did the graduate student start crying during class? They reached the end of their grant money.
Why did the graduate student major in marine biology? They wanted to make some waves.
Why did the graduate student drop out of law school? They couldn’t defend their thesis.
How do you know if a graduate student is stressed out? They start citing their sources in everyday conversation.
What did the graduate student say when they finally finished their thesis? Time to get a hobby… or several.
What’s a graduate student’s favorite book genre? Research fiction.
Why did the graduate student get kicked out of the library? They were trying to sneak in an entire pizza.
What do you call a graduate student who can’t finish their thesis? A master debater.
Why did the graduate student study cultural anthropology? They wanted to learn how to survive in any civilization’s job market.
Why did the graduate student switch from engineering to botany? They wanted to branch out.
What’s the difference between a graduate student and a drone? The drone has a higher chance of completing its mission.
Why is it hard to have a conversation with a graduate student during finals week? Every sentence is a footnote.
Why did the graduate student take a break from the lab? They were getting tired of constantly designing experiments.
What’s a graduate student’s least favorite type of software? The kind that does your work for you.
Why did the graduate student study psychology? They wanted to figure out what makes their professors tick.
What’s a graduate student’s idea of a wild night? A cup of tea and a journal article.
How many graduate students does it take to change a light bulb? None, they delegate that task to the undergraduates.
Why did the graduate student refuse to go on a date with the philosophy major? Because they argued about the meaning of life for the entire first hour.
Why did the graduate student choose a career in academia? Because who needs a social life when you have tenure?
What is a graduate student’s favorite type of cheese? Research cheddar.
How do you know when a graduate student is done with their thesis? When they start referring to themselves as doctor even if they haven’t defended yet.
Why did the graduate student bring a ladder to their presentation? To reach for the stars, of course.
How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one, but their dissertation defense will take eight hours to explain how they did it.
What did the graduate student say when they finally finished their thesis? I can finally sleep now…for a few days before starting my postdoc.
Why did the graduate student go to the library on a Saturday night? Because they wanted a quiet spot to cry while working on their research.
How do you calm a stressed-out graduate student? Give them a ten-page research paper to grade.
Why did the graduate student stop going to the gym? They realized they were already doing enough mental heavy lifting.
What do you get when you cross a grad student with a dog? Someone who chases their own tail fretting about the future of their research.
What’s the difference between a graduate student and a magician? One pulls rabbits out of a hat, the other pulls conclusions out of thin air.
How did the graduate student become a successful researcher? They followed the scientific method: trial, error, and a lot of caffeine.
How would you describe a graduate student’s night out? Researching how many drinks they can have without affecting their next day’s productivity.
What’s the most crucial component of a graduate student’s wardrobe? Their extra-strength under-eye concealer.
Why do graduate students always carry a backpack? To store all their hopes and dreams…and textbooks and papers and laptops and snacks and stress balls and…
What did the graduate student say to the postdoc? In five years, I’ll be where you are…but with less facial hair.
How do you make a graduate student smile? Give them a positive peer review…or a box of donuts.
Why did the graduate student cross the road? To avoid the graduate seminar on the other side.
Up to You!
Well, there you have it – 50+ hilarious jokes about the joys and struggles of graduate school.
Whether you’re a current student, an alum, or just someone who appreciates a good laugh, we hope these jokes brought a smile to your face.
And if you’re still in the midst of your own graduate school journey, just remember: laughter is the best medicine.
So keep these jokes in your back pocket for those tough days, and don’t forget to take a break and enjoy the lighter side of academic life.
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Hey there, I’m Simon, and I started Jokeslide.com to spread joy and laughter. As a 34-year-old who loves humor, I created this website to share funny jokes and mind-bending riddles in a family-friendly environment. Join me in this laughter-filled journey, connect with others, and experience the magic of humor together! 😄🤝