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50+ Jokes About Children

Hey there!

Are you ready to have your funny bone tickled and your cheeks hurting from laughing too hard?

Well, get ready because we’ve got 50+ hilarious jokes about children that will have you rolling on the floor with laughter!

Whether you have kids of your own or just love a good laugh, these jokes are sure to bring a smile to your face (and maybe even a snort or two).

So sit back, relax, and get ready to have a blast with our collection of funny quips and witty one-liners about the little ones.

Let’s go!

Jokes About Children

Why did the toddler carry his pillow around all day? He wanted to catch some Zzzzz’s.


Why did the baby cross the playground? To get to the other slide.


Why did the teacher wear sunglasses while teaching math? She needed to divide and conquer.


What did the mother computer say to her baby computer? Don’t forget to update your software!


What do you call a baby calf who tells jokes? A goofy moofy.


Why are kindergarten teachers always calm? They have everything under control.


Why did the little girl make her bed twice a day? She wanted to make sure she got her eight hours of sleep in.


What do you call a funny story about a crayon? A colorful joke.


Why did the little boy put a blanket over his head? He wanted to get some shut-eye.


What do you call a pirate kid with a toy sword? Captain Clumsy.


How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it.


Why did the little girl bring a ladder to school? She wanted to reach the high C’s in music class.


What did the ice cream say to the sprinkles? Stop following me or I’ll have to cone you!


Why did the little boy take a magnet to bed with him? He wanted to attract some sleep.


Why did the little girl carry a mirror with her everywhere she went? She wanted to see how she looked when she was having fun.


What do you get when you cross a caterpillar and a horse? A picnic.


Why did the little boy bring a mouse to show-and-tell? He wanted to take a squeak peek.


What did the baby say to the pacifier? You complete me.


Why did the little girl ask her mom to open the refrigerator? She needed to see if there was anything to snack on.


What do you call a jungle gym that talks? A chat-a-merry.


Why did the kid throw his clock out the window? He wanted to see time fly!


Why do kids like playgrounds? They like to slide into their DMs.


Why was the math book sad? It had too many problems.


Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired.


What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.


What did one pencil say to the other pencil? You’re looking sharp!


Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road? Because it ran out of juice.


What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer.


Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.


What is a pirate’s favorite letter? R? No, it’s the C they love!


Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it felt crummy.


What do you call a fake stone? A sham-rock.


Why did the music teacher need a ladder? To reach the high notes.


Why did the frog call his insurance company? He had a jump in his car.


What does one wall say to the other wall? I’ll meet you at the corner.


What do you call a fairy who hasn’t taken a bath? Stinkerbell.


Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed.


What do you call an alligator that wears a vest? An investigator.


What is the best way to communicate with a fish? Drop it a line!


What do you call a snobbish criminal going down stairs? A condescending con descending.


Up to You!

So there you have it, 50+ jokes about children that are guaranteed to give you a good chuckle!

Whether you have kids of your own or not, these jokes will have you rolling with laughter.

Now go forth and sprinkle some of these jokes into your daily conversations and watch as everyone’s faces light up with joy.

Just remember, kids say the darnedest things, and sometimes they are the funniest things you’ll ever hear.

So sit back, relax, and enjoy the wild and wacky ride that is parenthood – and all the hilarity that comes with it!


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