Hey there, Chem Master!
Are you ready to unleash your inner nerd and laugh out loud?
Well, get ready to ignite your funny bones because we’ve got the perfect formula to tickle your brain cells!
If you’re a chemistry fan, brace yourself for this epic list of 50+ jokes about chemistry that will have you saying “Oh, I get it now!” faster than you can say Avogadro’s number.
Get your lab coat and goggles on, and let’s dive into this hilarious world of chemical puns and reactions that will leave you positively charged for days!
Table of Contents
Jokes About Chemistry
I have some great chemistry but no one to bond with.
Two atoms walked into a bar. One said, I think I lost an electron. The other asked, Are you positive?
What do you do with a sick chemist? If you can’t helium and you can’t curium, then you might as well barium.
Don’t trust atoms, they make up everything.
Why was oxygen on a date with potassium? Because they had chemistry.
Why do chemists like nitrates so much? Because they’re cheaper than day rates.
I think I just saw Sodium Chloride and Hydrogen Chloride walking down the street. I think they were a bit salty.
Why is a chemistry book always sad? Because it has so many problems.
What did the chemist say when he found two isotopes of helium? HeHe
What should you do if no one laughs at your science jokes? Keep telling them until you get a reaction.
I was in the chemistry lab and couldn’t find the barium. I turned around and, Ba, there it was.
A neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender asks, How much for the drink? The neutron replies, No charge.
Why did the chemist break up with his girlfriend? He thought that she was too basic.
Why don’t chemists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
What did the chemist say to the dentist? I have a H2O2 tip for you!
Did you know that oxygen went on a date with sodium? It went so well, they made NaO.
Why did the chemist turn down a date with carbon? He was already benzene.
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? A one molar solution.
Did you know that the last element in the periodic table is a joke? It’s Unununium (Uuu).
What did the scientist say when he found two isotopes of helium? He-He.
Why did the chemist break up with his girlfriend? Because there was no chemistry.
Why do chemists like nitrates? Because they are cheaper than day rates.
What do you do with a sick chemist? If you can’t helium, you curium, and if you can’t curium, you barium.
How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
What do you call a clown who’s in jail? Silicon.
What does an angry chemist say when he finds that a beaker has been stolen? I sodium chloride my beakers every night!
What is a cation afraid of? A dog-ion.
How do you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber? Ask them to pronounce unionized.
Why did the acid go to the gym? To get buffer!
What did the chemist say when he found two isotopes of helium? HeHe (That’s laughing gas.)
What did one atom say to another atom? Don’t be negative!
What do you do with a sick chemist? If you can’t helium, and you can’t curium, then you might as well barium.
What do you call Iron blowing about in the wind? Febreeze.
What do you get when you cut an avocado into 6.022×10²³ pieces? Guacamole.
Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia so much? Because it’s pretty basic stuff.
What do you do with a sick chemist? If you can’t Helium and you can’t Curium then you might as well Barium!
Why did the chemist work at a recycling plant? He wanted to reduce, reuse, and recycle atoms.
What do you get when you mix sulfur, tungsten, and silver? SWAg
Periodic puns are elementally funny.
The scientist dropped everything for a moment to work on a project, but then he realized he couldn’t because he’s not a drop-let.
Did you hear about the chemist who was afraid of explosions? Turns out he had ionophobia.
What did the angry proton say to his neighbor? Get off my wavelength!
Why do chemists enjoy working with radium? It’s the only element that lights up their lives.
How do you make a chemist happy? Just give them a balanced equation.
Why did the chemist break up with his girlfriend? She didn’t understand his molar mass.
What’s the difference between a proton and a politician? Both have positive charges, but at least the proton has a real job.
Why are chemists so good at telling jokes? They have a strong sense of humor – it’s just bonded to their personalities.
What did one oxygen molecule say to the other during a double date? I feel like we have a great bond!
How do you know if a chemist has a sense of humor? They tell jokes about noble gases and nobody reacts.
Why can’t chemists get along with physicists? They always try to steal their ions.
How do you make a chemist laugh? Tell them a sodium bromide joke – NaBrO!
Why did the chemist refuse to work with CO2? It was already too busy carbon-dating!
Why don’t chemists ever marry biologists? They have no common solution.
What do you call a chemist who knows how to cook? A molecular gastronomist!
How do you know if a chemist is sick? They have a strong reaction to work.
Why don’t chemists ever take a break? They always have a chemical reaction to finish.
What do you call a group of chemists who love to play chess? The Alkali Metals!
How do you know if a chemist is single? They keep talking about their empty valence shell.
What do you call a chemist who is always hanging out with oxygen? A hydrogen bond lover!
Why did the chemist quit his job? He felt it was an alkaline experience!
Up to You!
So, my dear chemistry enthusiast, you’ve made it to the end of the 50+ hilarious jokes about chemistry!
You must be a true chemical element, because you’ve absorbed all these puns and reactions without breaking down.
Whether you laughed, groaned, or face-palmed, we hope these jokes have made you appreciate the humor in the periodic table.
From terrible puns to clever wordplay, there’s something for every chemist here.
Now go forth and spread the good cheer with these jokes – just don’t forget to wear your safety goggles!
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Hey there, I’m Simon, and I started Jokeslide.com to spread joy and laughter. As a 34-year-old who loves humor, I created this website to share funny jokes and mind-bending riddles in a family-friendly environment. Join me in this laughter-filled journey, connect with others, and experience the magic of humor together! 😄🤝