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50+ Jokes About California Weather

Hey there, sunshine!

If you live in California, you know that the weather can be unpredictable, with one day feeling like summer on steroids and the next feeling like a scene from Frozen.

But fear not, because we’ve collected 50+ hilarious jokes about California weather that will at least make you laugh, even if the weather isn’t cooperating with your mood.

So pour yourself an iced coffee or hot cocoa (depending on the hour), sit back, and get ready to chuckle your socks off.

Let’s do this!

Jokes About California Weather

Why did the Californian wear a jacket to the beach? To prepare for the 60-degree ‘heat wave.’

In California, we have two seasons: summer and slightly less summer.

Californians only have to worry about two types of weather: fire or earthquake.

Instead of forecasting the weather, Californians just check for ‘sunny with a 100% chance of dryness.’

Did you hear about the Californian who got so excited for the rain that they forgot how to drive?

In California, we call it a ‘light drizzle,’ but in other states, it’s called a monsoon.

Californians think thunder is just a myth like Bigfoot or a functioning government.

Why did the Californian cross the road during a heat wave? To get to the air conditioning on the other side.

In California, the only thing more unpredictable than the weather is the traffic.

Californians love to complain about the cold, but anything below 70 degrees is considered Arctic.

Why did the Californian bring an umbrella to the beach? To create some much-needed shade.

California’s weather is so mild it’s like the state’s biggest problem is deciding which sunglasses to wear.

In California, we don’t have blizzards, we have ‘flurries of panic.’

Why do Californians never talk about humidity? Because they can’t feel it with their bone-dry skin.

Instead of snow days, Californians have ‘sun days’ where everyone skips work to soak up some rays.

In California, a cloudy day is just nature’s way of throwing some shade.

Why did the Californian bring a sweater to the beach? Just in case of a sudden ‘cool breeze.’

Californians don’t have to worry about seasonal depression, we have year-round sunshine-induced euphoria.

In California, we don’t check the weather forecast, we just ask Siri to predict exactly what we already know.

Why did the Californian invest in a personal misting fan? To survive the apocalyptic 80-degree heat wave.

What do you call it when it rains in California? A miracle.

Why did the Californian cross the road during a heatwave? To get to the air-conditioned side.

How do Californians start their day? By checking the weather app to see which beach they’ll be going to.

Why do Californians never get scared during a thunderstorm? They’ve never heard lightning before.

What’s the difference between a snowstorm and a California hailstorm? One makes you shovel, the other makes you run for cover.

Why did the Californian bring an umbrella to the beach? To protect themselves from the sunshine.

What do Californians wear when it’s cold outside? A light jacket.

Why did the Californian stay indoors during a heatwave? They didn’t want to burst into flames.

What’s the most common phrase you’ll hear in California during winter? Is this really winter?

What’s a Californian’s favorite season? All of them, because they’re all the same.

Why did the Californian want to move to Alaska? Because they wanted to experience seasons.

What’s the best way to stay cool during a heatwave in California? Moving to San Francisco.

Why did the Californian feel homesick during a snowstorm? They missed seeing palm trees.

What’s the difference between a tornado and a California dust storm? One comes and goes quickly, the other lingers for weeks.

Why did the Californian buy a snow shovel? To use as a beach umbrella.

What’s a Californian’s response when someone complains about the heat? It’s a dry heat.

Why did the Californian wear sunglasses during a rainstorm? To protect their eyes from the rare occurrence of water falling from the sky.

What’s the worst thing that can happen during a California winter? Having to wear closed-toe shoes.

What’s a Californian’s favorite weather app? One that only shows sunny skies.

Why did the Californian want to go storm chasing? To see if rainbows actually exist.

Why doesn’t anyone in California ever use the weather app on their phone? Because they’re too busy bragging about how sunny it is all year round.

Why did the Californian refuse to go outside during a light rain shower? Because they were afraid they might melt like the Wicked Witch of the West.

California’s weather is so predictable, you could set your watch to it…assuming it’s always set to sunny.

Did you hear about the tanning salon that went out of business in California? Apparently, Mother Nature provided all the UV rays residents needed for free.

There are only two seasons in California: drought and fire.

Why did the Californians cross the road during a light drizzle? Because they heard it might rain later, so they wanted to get it over with quickly.

How do you dress for California’s weather? Flip-flops and board shorts in the summer, flip-flops and board shorts in the winter.

What do Californians say when it starts to drizzle? Quick, call the National Guard! We’re under attack!

California’s weather is like a box of chocolates…you never know what you’re going to get, except for sunshine and maybe the odd earthquake.

Want to know what California’s weather will be like tomorrow? Just check yesterday’s forecast. It’ll be almost exactly the same.

What’s the difference between a Californian and a snowman? The Californian has never heard of a snow day.

Why did the Californians buy so many convertibles? So they could enjoy the sunshine even while driving to the grocery store.

Californians don’t say let it snow – they say let it glow.

Why did the Californian’s umbrella completely fall apart during a light rain shower? Because it hadn’t been used in so long, the sun had rotted it.

What’s the perfect temperature for a Californian? Anywhere between 75 and 95 degrees, preferably with a light breeze and no humidity.

Why don’t Californians ever need an alarm clock? Because they wake up every morning to the sound of the sun shining.

What’s the difference between a Californian and a vampire? The Californian only comes out during the daytime.

What’s the definition of a windy day in California? Anything over 10mph.

Why don’t Californians ever use their fireplaces? Because they don’t actually generate heat – they’re just for decoration.

How can you tell a true Californian? They own at least three pairs of sunglasses, even though they all look exactly the same.

Up to You!

As you reach the end of these 50+ jokes about California weather, you may find yourself wondering if it’s really worth dealing with all the heat, droughts, and wildfires.

But fear not, brave Californian.

You’ve got the beach, the mountains, and the best fruit in the world.

And with all these jokes in tow, you’re armed and ready to face whatever weather Mother Nature throws your way.

So let’s grab our sunscreen, put on our shades, and get ready to soak up the sun, because in California, every day is a new adventure – whether you like it or not!

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