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50+ Jokes About British Weather

Hey there, feeling a bit British today, are you?

Well, we don’t blame you!

With the ever-changing weather of the UK, it’s hard not to join in on the fun.

So, we’ve compiled a list of 50+ jokes about British weather that’ll have you laughing through your umbrella.

Grab a cuppa and cozy up, because this list is one rainy day activity you won’t want to miss!

Jokes About British Weather

How do you know it’s raining in England? The ducks are wearing galoshes.


Why did the umbrella go to jail? Because it was a felony to open in public.


What’s the difference between a British summer and a British winter? In the summer, the rain is warmer.


How do you spot a tourist in London? They’re the ones trying to use an umbrella on a windy day.


What do you call an Englishman in the sun? A tourist.


What do you call a day in England without rain? A miracle.


How does an Englishman plan a picnic? By checking the forecast every five minutes.


Why do Brits talk about the weather so much? It’s the only thing they can rely on being consistent.


How do you know when it’s summer in England? The rain gets warmer.


England’s weather is like a box of chocolates: you never know what you’re going to get.


If you don’t like the weather in England, just wait five minutes. It’ll change.


What do you give an Englishman for his birthday? A waterproof jacket.


Why did the man bring a ladder to the weather forecast? He wanted to see the high and low pressure systems.


What do you call a sunny day in England? A national holiday.


How do you start a conversation about the weather in England? Just say nice day today in a sarcastic tone.


Why don’t Brits use sunscreen? They only get 15 minutes of sunshine a year.


How do you know a heatwave has hit England? People start complaining that it’s too hot.


What do Brits wear in the rain? Clothes that dry quickly.


What’s the difference between the North Pole and England in December? The North Pole has better weather.


How do you know you’re in England in the fall? The leaves change color and then immediately get rained on.


What do you call a rainy day in England? Typical.


Why don’t Brits water their lawns? The rain does it for them.


You know it’s British summer when the rain gets warmer.


Why did the umbrella go to jail? It was caught in a rain of terror.


How does a British person know it’s raining? They can feel it.


Britain has two seasons: wet and wetter.


In England, you can experience all four seasons in one day.


Why did the British man wear a coat in the summer? It was his turn to carry the rain.


How does a British person plan a picnic? They check the weather forecast every hour.


Why does the British government have a weather service? So they can apologize for the rain.


You know it’s cold in England when your teeth start chattering in Morse code.


Why is the British summer like the Channel tunnel? Because it’s always closed for repairs.


In England, the only constant about the weather is that it’s constantly changing.


British summer: where the sun is always shining… somewhere else.


Why do British people always talk about the weather? It’s the only thing they can rely on.


You know you’re in England when the rain sounds like a symphony.


Britain: where it’s always raining cats and trousers (not dogs and pants).


Why did the British man bring a frog to the beach? To hop on the rain puddles.


Shakespeare once said the a tempest is coming, but in England, it’s just a light breeze.


Why did the British man cancel his BBQ party? The forecast called for heatwave… of rain.


Why did the weatherman bring a ladder to work? To climb up and change the forecast.


It’s not just raining cats and dogs in Britain, it’s raining cows and sheep too.


Why is Britain always cold and rainy? Because the sun hasn’t been invented here yet.


How do you know it’s summer in Britain? The rain is slightly warmer.


Why do British people talk about the weather so much? It’s the only thing they have to talk about outside of Brexit.


An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman were stranded on a desert island. The Scotsman looked up at the gray sky and said, Typical British weather.


Why did the umbrella cross the road? To get to the other rainy side.


What do you call a sunny day in London? A miracle.


How did the sun feel when it visited Britain? Burned out.


Why did the woman run outside during a storm with a bowl of ice cream? To have a truly British experience.


A man walks into a pub and orders a pint. The bartender asks him, Do you want a beer jacket with that? The man responds, No, I brought my own rain jacket.


What do you call a day with no rain in England? A drought.


How do you spot a tourist in Britain? They’re the only ones using an umbrella on a sunny day.


Why do the British love talking about the weather? It’s the only thing that changes as frequently as their politicians.


The sun is like a rare Pokémon in Britain. You only get to see it once every few months.


What do you call a snow day in London? A mild inconvenience.


Why don’t the British use climate-controlled cars? Because they don’t want to be caught off guard when they step out into the rain.


How do you know when it’s autumn in Britain? The leaves turn from green to soggy.


Why did the Brits invent tea time? So they’d have something warm to hold while shivering in the rain.


What’s the difference between the weather in Britain and a pufferfish? The pufferfish inflates when threatened, and the British weather just gets worse.


Up to You!

Well, there you have it – 50+ jokes about British weather!

From the classic “four seasons in one day” to the ever-reliable “it’s not the heat, it’s the humidity,” you’ll never be short of a quip or two about the unpredictable climate of the UK.

Next time you’re caught in a sudden downpour or basking in a rare burst of sunshine, remember to crack a joke – after all, laughter is the best medicine for the typically gloomy British weather!

Keep calm and pun on!


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