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50+ Jokes About Being Really Old

Hey you, feeling a bit fragile these days?

Or maybe you’re a seasoned pro at this whole “getting old” thing.

Either way, buckle up because we’ve got some jokes that will hit home for anyone who knows what it’s like to have a few more years under their belt.

From dad jokes to classic one-liners, we’ve scoured the internet to bring you 50+ hilarious jokes about being really old.

So sit back, adjust your reading glasses, and get ready to laugh until you can’t remember what you were laughing about in the first place.

Jokes About Being Really Old

I’m so old, my birth certificate says ‘expired.’

I’m so old, I remember when emojis were called ‘hieroglyphics.’

I’m so old, my favorite dinosaur was still alive.

I’m so old, I remember when the Dead Sea was just sick.

I’m so old, my first car was a horse.

I’m so old, my childhood memories are in black and white.

I’m so old, I remember when phones had cords.

I’m so old, my high school yearbook is in hieroglyphics.

I’m so old, my first job was as a scribe.

I’m so old, my favorite food is prunes.

I’m so old, I remember when the Big Bang was just a rumor.

I’m so old, I remember when the wheel was invented.

I’m so old, my graduation album was a stone tablet.

I’m so old, I remember when indoor plumbing was a luxury.

I’m so old, my first pet was a dinosaur.

I’m so old, I remember when the earth was flat.

I’m so old, my first flight was on a pterodactyl.

I’m so old, I remember when time was measured in seasons.

I’m so old, I need a map to find my own house.

I’m so old, I remember when ‘LOL’ meant ‘Lots of Love.’

When I was young, my favorite color was transparent.

I’m so old, I remember when air was free and you only paid for things that came in a bottle.

I’m so old, I remember when the Dead Sea was only sick.

I’m so old, I remember when rainbows only had three colors.

I’m so old, I remember when Burger King was a prince.

I’m so old, I remember when the Grand Canyon was just a ditch.

I’m so old, I remember when the outhouse was your only option.

I’m so old, when I was young, the Dead Sea was only sick.

I’m so old, I remember when the stars were brighter and the air was cleaner.

I’m so old, I remember when my teeth were my own.

I’m so old, I’ve been alive through two pandemics and I still can’t figure out fax machines.

I’m so old, I remember when social distancing just meant being anti-social.

I’m so old, I remember when the radio was the only source of music.

I’m so old, I remember when the only way to take a picture was with a camera that had film in it.

I’m so old, I remember when the only way to get directions was by reading a map.

I’m so old, I remember when taking a selfie meant setting up a tripod and timer.

I’m so old, I remember when the cloud was just something that floated in the sky.

I’m so old, I remember when a mouse was something you set a trap for.

I’m so old, I remember when texting meant sending an actual letter by mail.

I’m so old, I remember when the internet was just a myth.

I’m so old, my birth certificate is written on a papyrus scroll.

I’m so old, when I was a child, we didn’t have electricity – we just harnessed the power of lightning bolts.

I’m so old, I remember when the world was black and white, and we had to manually color in everything with crayons.

I’m so old, I was around when the dinosaurs roamed the earth – they were actually pretty friendly creatures.

I’m so old, I remember when the Great Pyramids were just a pile of sand.

I’m so old, I can remember a time before the concept of time was invented.

I’m so old, I was there for the Big Bang – it was a wild party, let me tell you.

I’m so old, I remember when gravity was just a silly theory that nobody really believed in.

I’m so old, I was alive before there were telephones, and we had to communicate by shouting at each other from miles away.

I’m so old, I can remember when the internet was just wires and tubes that were powered by hamsters running on wheels.

I’m so old, I was the first person to ever use the phrase ‘get off my lawn.’

I’m so old, I remember when the only way to get around was on the back of a woolly mammoth.

I’m so old, I was around for the first-ever solar eclipse – we thought the world was coming to an end.

I’m so old, I remember when the concept of fire was considered cutting-edge technology.

I’m so old, I can remember when the word ‘technology’ didn’t even exist.

I’m so old, I was around when the wheel was invented – it wasn’t much, but it was a start.

I’m so old, I remember when the bubonic plague was just a mild cold that went around every winter.

I’m so old, I can remember when the sun was just a wee little star that nobody paid much attention to.

I’m so old, I was actually the inspiration for the concept of ‘eternal life.’

I’m so old, I’ve forgotten more things than most people will ever learn.

Up to You!

Congratulations, you’ve made it to the end of these 50+ jokes about being really old!

It might have taken a while to get there, but no worries – you’ve got plenty of time.

After all, with age comes wisdom, and apparently a lot of jokes too.

So whether you’re already up there in years or just enjoy poking fun at those who are, hopefully these jokes gave you a chuckle or two.

Now go enjoy some prune juice and shuffle on over to your favorite chair.

You’ve earned it!

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