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50+ Dark Jokes About No Dad

Hey there, you poor soul without a dad.

We know life can be tough without a father figure, but fear not!

We’ve got just the thing to brighten up your day (or darken it even further depending on your sense of humor).

Get ready for 50+ dark jokes about no dad that will have you laughing until you cry (or just crying).

So sit back, relax, and prepare to enter the world of dad-less humor.

Just make sure you’re ready for it, because these jokes are not for the faint of heart.

Let the laughter (or therapy session) begin!

Dark Jokes About No Dad

Why did the no dad cross the road? To get away from his responsibilities.

What did the no dad say at the family reunion? I’m just here for the free food.

Why did the no dad crash his car? He forgot to check his mirrors for his nonexistent kids.

How does a no dad keep his house clean? He doesn’t, he lives alone.

What did the no dad say when his friend asked if he wanted to go to a father-son game? Sorry, I’m busy not having a kid to take.

What’s the difference between a no dad and a deadbeat dad? Nothing, they both leave their kids.

Why did the no dad get in trouble at work? He was caught playing computer games instead of working to support his family.

What’s the best part about being a no dad? Not having to worry about your child’s future.

What did the no dad say when asked about his parenting style? My parenting style? It’s called ‘ghosting.’

How does a no dad measure success? By how much free time he has to do what he wants.

What do you call a no dad who never celebrates Father’s Day? Just another day.

Why did the no dad refuse to buy a pet? He didn’t want to deal with another responsibility.

What’s the best way to avoid becoming a no dad? Don’t have kids in the first place.

What did the no dad say when his imaginary child asked for a bedtime story? Sure, but you’ll have to imagine the ending because I don’t know how it ends.

What’s a no dad’s favorite hobby? Ignoring phone calls from his child support agency.

Why did the no dad skip his own birthday party? He knew there wouldn’t be anyone to buy him gifts.

How does a no dad make sure he always has money? By not spending it on child support.

What’s a no dad’s favorite holiday? Any day without his children.

What did the no dad say when asked if he knew his child’s favorite toy? I don’t even know if they exist.

What’s the best gift you can give a no dad? A vasectomy so they never have to deal with a child again.

Why did the father leave? Because mom said he was inbread.

I had a father figure once, but then he got arrested for shoplifting at the sperm bank.

I’m so lonely, I even wish I had a deadbeat dad to complain about.

My dad says he’s coming back, but I think he’s stuck in parallel universe where he can’t find his way back to me.

I don’t need therapy, I just need my dad’s approval…oh wait, nevermind.

What does it take to get pregnant? Apparently, not having a dad around.

My dad was so absent in my life, he forgot to pay child support… for 18 years.

I don’t trust anyone who says ‘like father, like son.’ I’ve never even met my father.

Why did the sperm go bad? Because it had no dad to keep it in line.

I asked my dad if he was proud of me. He said he couldn’t answer because he was too busy playing hide-and-seek.

Why was the no-dad family so poor? Because they couldn’t afford a second income.

I went to a party once and someone asked ‘who’s your daddy?’ I replied with ‘I’ve never met mine, but thanks for bringing up my traumatic childhood!’

Why was the no-dad household so noisy? Because the single mom had to yell at the kids twice as much.

My dad was always there for me…in my dreams. Then he’d disappear and I’d wake up crying.

Why did the fatherless child need glasses? To help him see a brighter future…or at least something in focus.

My dad said he’d come to my graduation, but then he got lost on the way to the car.

I’m so good at abandonment issues, I could write a book on how to be okay with having no dad.

Why couldn’t the no-dad family afford to go on vacation? Because they didn’t have anyone to split the bill.

My dad was the best…until he left. After that, the bar got pretty low.

What’s the most common reason for having no dad? Poor life choices. But hey, at least you get to learn independence early!

Up to You!

So there you have it, dear reader.

50+ dark jokes about no dad.

You may be wondering if it’s too soon to make jokes about absent fathers, but let’s face it – sometimes laughter is the best medicine.

Plus, these jokes are just too good to resist.

Whether you cringed, rolled your eyes, or laughed out loud, one thing is for sure: you won’t forget these jokes any time soon.

Now, go forth and spread the dark humor – just maybe don’t do it at the family reunion.

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