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50+ Dad Jokes About Xmas

Hey you!

Are you ready to ho ho hold your sides from laughter?

‘Tis the season for dad jokes and we’ve got 50+ hilarious ones about Christmas that will have you jingling all the way.

From puns about candy canes to jokes about Santa’s belly, get ready to be merry and bright with these hilarious holiday one-liners.

So grab your eggnog and get ready to laugh until you’re red and green in the face.

Let’s sleigh this Christmas with some dad jokes!

Dad Jokes About Xmas

What do you call Santa when he stops moving? Santa Pause!

How does Santa Claus keep track of all the planets? With his sleigh-tometer!

What does an elf learn in school? The elf-abet!

Why did the snowman go to the doctor? He had a case of the frost-bites!

Why did Santa get a ticket on Christmas Eve? He parked in a snow-tow zone!

What kind of music do elves listen to? Wrap music!

What’s the hardest thing about Christmas shopping? Deciding which gift to throw away first!

Why did the turkey join a band? To play the drumsticks!

What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!

Why did the Grinch use a chainsaw? He had no handsaw!

What do you get when you cross Santa with a detective? Santa Clues!

What do you call a snowman in the desert? Waterless Frosty!

What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Frosted flakes!

What’s the favourite TV show of Santa Claus? Elf-abet soup!

Why does Santa have three gardens? So he can hoe hoe hoe!

Why did Santa use an extortionist to do his work? Because he had to Santa pile of letters to reply to!

Why don’t sharks celebrate Christmas? Because they are too busy with Jaws-mas!

How does Darth Vader like his Christmas trees? On the Dark Side!

What do you call a snowman with a cold? Frosty the Sneeze-man!

What does Santa call his helpers when they’re late for work? Elfish employees!

What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.

Why did Santa go to the bank? To get his North Pole account in order.

How does Santa Claus take photos? With his North Pole-aroid camera.

Why is Santa so good at karate? Because he has a black belt in ho-ho-hoing.

Why does Santa always go down the chimney? Because it soots him.

Why did the elf wear a tutu to Christmas? Because it was pointeless to resist.

Why did the gingerbread man go to the doctor? Because he felt crummy.

How does Santa stay in shape? With North Pole-arizing workout routines.

What do you get when you cross a snowman and a shark? Frostbite.

How does Rudolph know when Christmas is coming? He reads the glowing signs.

What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite.

Why don’t aliens celebrate Christmas? They think it’s an earthling holiday.

Where do snowmen go to dance? The snow ball.

Why did the snow shovel break up with the snow blower? It wasn’t working out.

What do you call a snowman with a carrot nose? Frosty the snowcones.

Why did Santa Claus put clothes on his lawn ornament? He was getting tired of naked elves.

How do you mend a broken Christmas ornament? With glue of course.

How does Santa get around? On his mistle-toes.

What do you call an elf who sings? A wrapper.

Why was the Christmas tree so bad at sewing? It kept getting tangled up in the thread.

What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!

How does Santa keep track of all the fireplaces he has to visit? He keeps a log book!

What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride? A Holly Davidson!

Why did Frosty the Snowman want a divorce? Because his wife was a total flake!

Why did Rudolph get a bad grade in school? Because he always refused to hoof it to class!

Why did Santa’s elves go on strike? Because they wanted better presents!

Why don’t penguins like Christmas? Because they always get stuck with coal!

Why did Santa’s reindeer go to the psychiatrist? Because they all had sleigh-feelings!

How does a snowman lose weight? He waits for the sun to melt the pounds away!

Why did the turkey cross the road? To get to the stuffing!

What does Santa say when he’s debugging his program? Ho, ho, ho-log!

What is a pirate’s favorite Christmas carol? Yo ho ho and a bottle of eggnog!

How do you know if Santa is at your party? You can sense his presents!

What do you call Santa when he takes a break? Santa Pause!

What kind of carol do the elves listen to? Wrap music!

Why did Christmas lights always prefer to date other Christmas lights? Because they wanted to be lit together!

What do you call a Santa who’s on a diet? Jolly-O Green Giant!

Why did the elf end up with a hearing problem? He worked in Santa’s workshop!

How did Batman spend his Christmas? He called it The Dark Night Before Christmas!

Why did the Grinch refuse to share his Christmas treats? Because he didn’t want anyone to steal his joy!

Up to You!

Well, well, well, looks like you’ve made it to the end of this delightful list of dad jokes about Christmas!

You’ve laughed, groaned, and probably rolled your eyes more times than you can count, but that’s what makes these jokes so great.

They’re cheesy, they’re predictable, and yet, somehow, they never fail to put a smile on your face.

So go ahead, share these jokes with your loved ones and see if you can steal a laugh or two.

After all, isn’t that what the holiday season is all about?

Merry Christmas and happy joking!

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