Hey there, class clown!
Are you in dire need of some gut-busting school humor?
Buckle up, because we’ve got the motherload of laughter for you.
Get ready for 50+ comedian jokes about school that will have you rolling on the cafeteria floor.
From math class to detention, these one-liners will have you forgetting about that upcoming test.
So sit back, relax, and prepare to LOL at these hilarious quips about the place we love to hate- school!
Comedian Jokes About School
Why did the math book look so sad? Because it had too many problems.
Why did the English teacher never give up? Because she was too determined to teach everyone proper grammar.
Why did the history teacher always carry a ruler? To keep things in line.
Why did the science teacher always bring a telescope to class? To help the students see things clearly.
Why did the music teacher retire? Because the band couldn’t play at a high enough note.
Why did the art teacher always paint her students? Because she wanted to make them canvas legends.
Why did the gym teacher love geometry? Because she loved to work out her angles.
Why did the Spanish teacher always say sí? Because she always wanted to agree with her students.
Why did the geography teacher always get lost? Because she never knew where the map was.
Why did the principal always wear glasses? To make sure everyone was always in sight.
Why did the teacher always use a timer? To make sure things never got out of hands.
Why did the students never take their ruler to class? Because they didn’t want to measure up.
Why did the science teacher stop teaching? Because she said she just couldn’t STEM what was happening anymore.
Why did the drama teacher always say break a leg? Because she wanted to make sure the students would stay on their feet.
Why did the guidance counselor always carry a map? Because she wanted to help the students find their way in life.
Why did the PE teacher play basketball with his students? Because he wanted to lay up the fun.
Why did the janitor always sweep the hallways during class? Because he wanted to learn on the job.
Why did the substitute teacher always read from the textbook? Because she didn’t know how to improvise.
Why did the principal always keep the school doors locked? Because he didn’t want any new minds to escape.
Why did the students run away from the big test? Because they were afraid they would fail harder than a downed server.
Why did the math book look so sad? Because it had too many problems.
Why did the skeleton go to the party alone? Because he had no body to dance with.
What’s the difference between a teacher and a train? One stops at every station and the other just rambles on.
Why did the student bring a ladder to school? To reach the high notes in music class.
Why did the principal call the parents of the straight-A student? To convey his condolences.
Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
Why did the English teacher break up with the math teacher? There was no chemistry between them.
Why did the bell get detention? Because it was ringing during a test.
Why did the geography teacher go to jail? Because he was caught smuggling globes.
Why did the physics teacher break up with the history teacher? Because there was no future in it.
Why do math teachers love geometry? Because it’s plane and simple.
What did the teacher say to the student with the broken pencil? ‘You’re not very sharp today.’
Why did the art teacher bring a ladder to class? To teach perspective.
Why don’t you see elephants hiding in trees at school? Because they’re so good at it.
Why did the history teacher go to bed? To dream about the future.
Why don’t fish go to school? Because they’re always in class.
Why did the school principal hire a pastry chef? To put all the students and teachers on a sugar high.
Why did the teacher wear sunglasses to class? Because her class was just too bright.
Why did the student eat his homework? Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake.
Why don’t ghosts like school? Because they’re always in dead end jobs.
Why couldn’t the bicycle go to school? Because it was two-tired.
Why did the student break up with his math book? It was too demanding.
What did one pencil say to the other? Hey, bud, are you #2?
Why did the chemistry teacher get mad at the student? Because he was suggesting they bond.
What did the student say when he finally understood geometry? I finally see the angle.
Why did the student bring a ladder to school? He wanted to reach new heights.
Why did the history teacher punish the student for chewing gum in class? She wasn’t interested in the student’s bubble-gum presidency.
What do you call a school full of goats? A kidding school.
Why did the principal consider canceling school on Halloween? He was afraid it would be too scary on School-haunting Day.
Why did the student eat his homework? He wanted to pass it through his digestive system and ace it in the poop-quiz.
What do you call a student who always stays up late studying? A night owl-talian.
Why did the science teacher take away the Bunsen burner? Because he thought the students were burning the midnight oil.
What did the teacher say when the student asked for more homework? I’m sorry, I couldn’t possibly burden you with it.
What did one ruler say to the other? Hey! Can you give me a measure of how awesome our school is?
Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.
Why did the student cross the school yard? To say hello to his class-mates.
Why did the student bring a fan to class? He wanted to test the coolness of his teacher.
What did the teacher say when the student asked to use the bathroom? Permission granted. But be sure to take a tally of how many steps you take on the way there and back. I might give a quiz on it.
Why do teachers give students so much homework? So they can classify students based on their stamina: the ones who can finish it have high homework-sapien traits.
Why did the teacher take away the student’s ruler? Because it had 12 inches, and the student was acting like they had an inch to spare.
Up to You!
So there you have it, dear reader!
50+ hilarious jokes about school from some of the funniest comedians out there.
From awkward school dances to confusing math classes, these jokes have covered it all.
And let’s be real, we’ve all been through some of these situations ourselves.
So the next time you find yourself in a classroom or even just thinking about your school days, remember these jokes and have a good laugh.
Because even though school may have been tough, humor is the best kind of medicine.
Stay in school (or not, we’re not judging) and always keep your funny bone sharp!
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Hey there, I’m Simon, and I started Jokeslide.com to spread joy and laughter. As a 34-year-old who loves humor, I created this website to share funny jokes and mind-bending riddles in a family-friendly environment. Join me in this laughter-filled journey, connect with others, and experience the magic of humor together! 😄🤝